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This is a UK based forum about divorce and related issues. Feel free to contribute. Your experiences or opinions may help others. The links on the left lead to basic information about most common divorce questions. The information opens in a separate window. You can use the search function to search the forum.
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Results 1 - 30 of 76 
Topic: Re: Tertiary Education
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 2 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Different situation but how about suggesting the ex pays the maintenance directly to the daughter? I have a friend whose ex was unreliable until the payments went directly to the children when they started university.
Topic: Re: House Equity payment before or after divorce papers?
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 2 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
It is not hers until she pays. She can't sell it or stop you living in it.
Topic: Re: Pension Sharing
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 3 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Given your age I suspect your teacher's pension is index linked and based on final salary. Capital taken from it is likely to grow more slowly in any pension it can be moved into and growth could be wiped out by a stock market crash. Thus the lower earner, your husband, is likely to end up with a much smaller pension than you if things are split on a capital basis. I had an actuarial report
Topic: Re: Divorce and business valuation
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 3 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Start from a basis of a 50/50 split and then add in your personal circumstances. In my case I wanted a clean break and my earnings and potential earnings are far less than my husbands. Result I have 4/5 of the house when it is sold and 33% of his pension pot to date but his disposable income after bills is 3 x mine. Child support and custody was not an issue in my case. Our only child left at
Topic: Re: Divorce due to unreasonable behaviour - wife avoidance
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 4 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Not a solicitor. However I think you need to ensure her debts are recognised as hers alone and consider your options regarding housing. How well paid is well paid? Have you family in the area? Also get the divorce papers actually served.
Topic: Re: Mesher Order - Change of Circumstances
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 4 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Your ex's new partner is hardly likely to get any important post to step children who are not welcome to sleep there. Your address it is.
Topic: Re: Mesher Order - Change of Circumstances
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 4 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Get the flat. Your children can stay in their university towns during vacations and you can visit. There is plenty of unused space around and these days quite a few students have to stay to keep their jobs.
Topic: Re: ordered to sell - what happens if I don't?
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 4 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
You have a lot on your plate but even if the house went on the market now you probably wouldn't be moving until September. I'd take your mother's help to get the best place you can that can accommodate your special needs child and is within the school catchments. That may mean 2 double bedrooms instead of three and using the lounge as a bed sitting room and other compromises but the upside is
Topic: Re: Graduation with Divorced Parents
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 5 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
I'm assuming 4 tickets to the graduation. If you can get hold of a 5th ticket then invite your mother, father, brother, your father's girlfriend AND your mother's boyfriend. If you can't get hold of the 5th ticket then just make it your mother, father and brother. You hero worship your father. His girlfriend is lovely. Your mother is just reduced to a list of things you think ought to make
Topic: Re: Enforcing a consent order
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 5 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
£400/30 = approx. £13.33/day so if he is having your child an extra 2 nights a month I would think it reasonable to decrease your maintenance to about £375 a month. However given he has had a pay rise....
Topic: Re: Failure to pay child support against future lump sum
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 5 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
I'd worry about the £10,000 in 12 years time. You don't say how old you are but another £10,000 remortgage in 12 years time would seem to be the way to go. If in 12 years time your circumstances are such that is not an option then let him take you to court for something you can't pay. Any savings you can manage on your income really need to be kept for the odd treat for your children and
Topic: Re: Am I making the right decision to end it?
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 6 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Amateur diagnosis here. Your wife resents the fact that somehow she has ended up as the person who always does the boring, drossy chores and necessary life admin while you pick up all the fun weekend times with your daughter and despise her. Suggestion: clean the house from top to bottom, do the shopping and the washing and then ask your wife what she would like to do at the weekend with you an
Topic: Re: Pension sharing
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 7 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
The pension was built during the marriage. Pensions built during the marriage get shared. Starting point 50/50 split. My ex is sharing his Civil Service pension with me and it is only right that he do so because he only managed to accrue it because I did the lions' share of the child rearing leaving him free to work full time.
Topic: Re: Will this be considered a fair settlement by the courts?
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 7 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Not a judge. Not a solicitor. She has taken a career hit you haven't over the past two years and your suggested split of childcare duties leaves her doing all the running around child minders and nurseries during the week and taking the consequent career hit of not being seen to be flexible over the 9-5. This sets her up to be a lot worse off than you over the long term and additionally leaves
Topic: Serving a pension holder
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 8 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Court has signed off on the financial order and the decree nisi. I am waiting for the absolute at which point my solicitor will be notifying my husband's pension holder that a portion of his pension needs to be transferred to me. I can more or less guarantee the ex will not be very excited about finding the time to get this done within the statutory 4 months. I cannot afford the fees to ch
Topic: Re: Breaching Court Order
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 9 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Your child is young. Mine are in their teens and twenties. Essentially it was easy for me to take the decision to not rely on ANYTHING that the ex promised. I have given up on co-parenting and do my own thing. In your shoes I would go to a solicitor and say that the threat to breach the court order - sounds like the nursery money will magically appear on the due date - is interfering with yo
Topic: Re: Breaching Court Order
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 9 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
The man is an idiot. The nursery is a business and probably has a waiting list. They cannot be expected to hold open a place for your child and exactly how are you meant to work/do whatever in December with a child in tow? Go in, show the manager the court papers and tell him/her you are seeing a solicitor immediately to try and ensure continuity of payment. Then get your solicitor to write
Topic: Re: Pension split during divorce
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 9 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
If you take pensions early you take a tax hit. It is better to transfer pension capital into another pension plan.
Topic: Re: Child Support
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 9 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
I would keep doing what you are doing and keep records and possibly send a solicitor's letter stating you are paying the 17 year old directly. Different situation but my ex somehow NEVER seems to find the time/opportunity to sort out the needs of my 16 year old.
Topic: Re: Please help !!!! Short marriage divorce with a bipolar!!!
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 9 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
I think your friend is cherry picking facts when he confides in you. Either that or he is not hearing the solicitor properly.
Topic: Re: Refusal to co-operate with Financial Disclosure
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 9 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Keep in mind that it is a 50/50 split of ALL assets so if he keeps his pension details quiet he will need to take on the expense of going to court to force a house sale when your son is 18 and if I were a judge I wouldn't order a house sale without knowing how the pension situation had been resolved. My financial order is in place but apparently I have to wait for the decree absolute before my
Topic: Re: Court order to sell house but Ex is delaying things
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 10 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Check your financial order. Ours says we are both responsible for the sale which I took to be pretty standard. If yours says the same I don't see why you can't just choose the solicitor yourself as she has been given ample time to do so. (I made sure our financial order also named my divorce solicitor's firm as the conveyancing solicitor.)
Topic: Re: Court order to sell house but Ex is delaying things
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 10 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Check your financial order. Ours says we are both responsible for the sale which I took to be pretty standard. If yours says the same I don't see why you can't just choose the solicitor yourself as she has been given ample time to do so. (I made sure our financial order also named my divorce solicitor's firm as the conveyancing solicitor.)
Topic: Re: Being left to deal with everything
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 10 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
This is not legal advice but I recognise the "life revolves around me and all of you will adapt to my latest whim" mentality. He is not reliable. Therefore you need a back up plan for Wednesdays and the weekends he is supposed to have the children if you want to organise something they cannot join in with. If you have a job which can accommodate flexitime speak to your boss about
Topic: Re: Partners ex girlfriends rights to his property?
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 11 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Well there is the law. There is fairness. There is morality. There is practicality. There is the local job market. There are also two adult children who will be affected by their mother's move. I don't think it is in your partner's emotional interest to be seen to be a lot better off than his children's mother. Just saying.
Topic: Ensuring the financial order comes before the absolute
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 11 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Question about getting things in place in the right order. I am the respondent and the decree nisi has been issued. The financial order is effectively agreed BUT, and with my ex there is always a BUT the draft financial order is now with my ex and he keeps a very full diary and I am his lowest priority. If my ex's solicitor gets bored with waiting for the draft financial order to be returne
Topic: Re: My husband is petitioning for divorce and I am concerned he is hiding assets
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 12 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Didn't read the full post but from the ending I think you are seeing the divorce and the finances as one thing. They are not. The divorce is a separate legal matter from the financial agreement. The financial agreement should be in place before the decree absolute is granted. All you need to do is acknowledge the divorce papers have been served on you.
Topic: Re: Partners ex girlfriends rights to his property?
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 12 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
However a man who does not pay child maintenance and removes the roof over the head of 19 year olds in the current housing market does not look good in court.
Topic: Re: Maintenance....is there a point?
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 12 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
He sounds like he would not pay the maintenance if it was awarded - go for a clean break otherwise you will be chasing him for money he can "prove" he has not got.
Topic: Re: Form E 4.3 my contributions..don't want answer to sound bitter
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 12 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
The rest of the form speaks for itself when you get the corresponding form E. It is completely obvious who dealt with the domestic and emotional labour in my case - me!
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