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This is a UK based forum about divorce and related issues. Feel free to contribute. Your experiences or opinions may help others. The links on the left lead to basic information about most common divorce questions. The information opens in a separate window. You can use the search function to search the forum.
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Results 1 - 30 of 62 
Topic: Serving a pension holder
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - Today
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Court has signed off on the financial order and the decree nisi. I am waiting for the absolute at which point my solicitor will be notifying my husband's pension holder that a portion of his pension needs to be transferred to me. I can more or less guarantee the ex will not be very excited about finding the time to get this done within the statutory 4 months. I cannot afford the fees to ch
Topic: Re: Breaching Court Order
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 9 days ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Your child is young. Mine are in their teens and twenties. Essentially it was easy for me to take the decision to not rely on ANYTHING that the ex promised. I have given up on co-parenting and do my own thing. In your shoes I would go to a solicitor and say that the threat to breach the court order - sounds like the nursery money will magically appear on the due date - is interfering with yo
Topic: Re: Breaching Court Order
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 10 days ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
The man is an idiot. The nursery is a business and probably has a waiting list. They cannot be expected to hold open a place for your child and exactly how are you meant to work/do whatever in December with a child in tow? Go in, show the manager the court papers and tell him/her you are seeing a solicitor immediately to try and ensure continuity of payment. Then get your solicitor to write
Topic: Re: Pension split during divorce
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 14 days ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
If you take pensions early you take a tax hit. It is better to transfer pension capital into another pension plan.
Topic: Re: Child Support
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 16 days ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
I would keep doing what you are doing and keep records and possibly send a solicitor's letter stating you are paying the 17 year old directly. Different situation but my ex somehow NEVER seems to find the time/opportunity to sort out the needs of my 16 year old.
Topic: Re: Please help !!!! Short marriage divorce with a bipolar!!!
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 19 days ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
I think your friend is cherry picking facts when he confides in you. Either that or he is not hearing the solicitor properly.
Topic: Re: Refusal to co-operate with Financial Disclosure
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 30 days ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Keep in mind that it is a 50/50 split of ALL assets so if he keeps his pension details quiet he will need to take on the expense of going to court to force a house sale when your son is 18 and if I were a judge I wouldn't order a house sale without knowing how the pension situation had been resolved. My financial order is in place but apparently I have to wait for the decree absolute before my
Topic: Re: Court order to sell house but Ex is delaying things
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 5 weeks ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Check your financial order. Ours says we are both responsible for the sale which I took to be pretty standard. If yours says the same I don't see why you can't just choose the solicitor yourself as she has been given ample time to do so. (I made sure our financial order also named my divorce solicitor's firm as the conveyancing solicitor.)
Topic: Re: Court order to sell house but Ex is delaying things
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 5 weeks ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Check your financial order. Ours says we are both responsible for the sale which I took to be pretty standard. If yours says the same I don't see why you can't just choose the solicitor yourself as she has been given ample time to do so. (I made sure our financial order also named my divorce solicitor's firm as the conveyancing solicitor.)
Topic: Re: Being left to deal with everything
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 7 weeks ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
This is not legal advice but I recognise the "life revolves around me and all of you will adapt to my latest whim" mentality. He is not reliable. Therefore you need a back up plan for Wednesdays and the weekends he is supposed to have the children if you want to organise something they cannot join in with. If you have a job which can accommodate flexitime speak to your boss about
Topic: Re: Partners ex girlfriends rights to his property?
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 2 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Well there is the law. There is fairness. There is morality. There is practicality. There is the local job market. There are also two adult children who will be affected by their mother's move. I don't think it is in your partner's emotional interest to be seen to be a lot better off than his children's mother. Just saying.
Topic: Ensuring the financial order comes before the absolute
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 2 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Question about getting things in place in the right order. I am the respondent and the decree nisi has been issued. The financial order is effectively agreed BUT, and with my ex there is always a BUT the draft financial order is now with my ex and he keeps a very full diary and I am his lowest priority. If my ex's solicitor gets bored with waiting for the draft financial order to be returne
Topic: Re: My husband is petitioning for divorce and I am concerned he is hiding assets
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 3 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Didn't read the full post but from the ending I think you are seeing the divorce and the finances as one thing. They are not. The divorce is a separate legal matter from the financial agreement. The financial agreement should be in place before the decree absolute is granted. All you need to do is acknowledge the divorce papers have been served on you.
Topic: Re: Partners ex girlfriends rights to his property?
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 3 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
However a man who does not pay child maintenance and removes the roof over the head of 19 year olds in the current housing market does not look good in court.
Topic: Re: Maintenance....is there a point?
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 3 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
He sounds like he would not pay the maintenance if it was awarded - go for a clean break otherwise you will be chasing him for money he can "prove" he has not got.
Topic: Re: Form E 4.3 my contributions..don't want answer to sound bitter
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 3 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
The rest of the form speaks for itself when you get the corresponding form E. It is completely obvious who dealt with the domestic and emotional labour in my case - me!
Topic: Re: Phone Calls re exH debts
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 3 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Give them basic information. X is your ex-husband. Your divorce was finalised in a clean break agreement in 2016. This telephone number now belongs solely to you. ( His mobile number is yyyyyyyyy.) Please don't call again. Goodbye. Phone down. This will get noted down on the caller's computer screen and eventually it will be obvious that it is pointless to call you. We bought a house w
Topic: Re: Will divorce ever come?
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 3 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
It is August. What is the point? This is a long marriage if the mortgage is just paying off. Your other half couldn't/wouldn't/didn't think through the process sufficiently to proactively show that taking over the mortgage was a practical proposition until ASKED to do so. Take it from me that sort of offhand behaviour erodes goodwill on the other side and gives you plenty of time to refle
Topic: Re: Is Nominal Maintenance fair in this instance?
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 3 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
To me the clean break is the crux of the matter. I would not agree to the nominal maintenance.
Topic: Re: Wife does not communicate directly during divorce and her solicitor sent injunction warning
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 3 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
My divorce is an ongoing saga because my not yet ex-husband sees it as a very low priority. Get your solicitor to write a letter making it clear that you will seek a financial settlement that reflects the fact she is not contributing to the mortgage and that you will not be responsible for any debts she incurs. Check with the mortgage company about taking in a lodger if you are prepared to ren
Topic: Re: Is it possible to represent yourself in court?
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 4 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Just avoided court so no personal experience. Suggest you prepare a spreadsheet of assets and liabilities and collect supporting evidence as far as you can. Put together a file of the offers and responses. Then pay for an hour of your solicitors' time so you can be talked through the process and be given ideas as to how to present it. It might also be worth asking if there is a newly qual
Topic: Re: Got Deemed Service, what do I do next?
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 4 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Not sure of the process as I have a solicitor but one thing I have picked up is that the financial agreement, which is separate from the divorce, must be finalised before the decree absolute is obtained.
Topic: Re: A year long divorce process that never ends
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 5 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
You have obviously hit an emotional sticking point for your wife and not knowing your her I don't know why she is so adamant about selling the house. Look at the figures and work out a deal that lets her keep the house or sell it and have 2 much smaller properties or offer lots of pension capital. Your insistence on keeping the house for you is spending the money just as much as her insisting o
Topic: Re: A year long divorce process that never ends
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 5 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
The solution is not you get the house, the £70,000 job that can be done around school hours and 50% custody while she gets to rent and work her 50% time with the children around an employer who wants her to travel and pays wages around half the rate at which you earn. Suggest you deal with all transport to do with the children on the 2.5 days she works which will alleviate her stress and me
Topic: Re: A year long divorce process that never ends
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 5 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
You are fighting for YOUR solution. She is not going to accept that. Children survive moving home. Put something to her that involves you moving - it might save a lot of court fees.
Topic: Re: Scared of ex husband. Where do i stand?
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 5 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Change your solicitor. Even acquaintances who aren't divorced can be asked whether they have heard any good or bad stories about the local firms. You are either with a solicitor who works alone and has taken on too much or one with an incompetent office staff. Stop trying to make things work as a co-parent with your ex. Organise your life on the assumption you are either with your child o
Topic: Re: Voluntary financial disclosure
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 5 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Find an experienced solicitor in a good firm and put the facts to him/her. You start from 50/50 but then adjust to fit the facts. Pro you getting more: its a very short marriage, you put in more financially, her housing needs are met by her parents. Pro her getting more she has less income and a baby. ( I am not sure whether it is legally possible to register a baby with the biological fath
Topic: Re: House sale court hearing
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 5 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Not a solicitor but I would attend in person. Unless it is a VERY long marriage points to be made are that she hasn't contributed to the house running costs/mortgage since 2012(?) and therefore the 50% equity share should be reduced. Also you have been made redundant and whilst her housing needs have been met within her remarriage your housing needs are under threat due to your current lack of
Topic: Re: SOLE OWNER OF MARITAL HOME, EX WANTS TO MOVE BACK?
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 5 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
It's your house. You alone get to decide who lives there. Get anything that can be called his out of the house and change the locks. He can register an interest in the property so you can't sell it without getting the financial side of your divorce sorted out. However that is the limit of his rights as I understand it. (I AM NOT A SOLICITOR)
Topic: Re: Likley Outcome
Written By: jill_of_all_trades - 5 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Ages of spouses, ages of children, difference is salary of spouses, length of marriage all factor in.
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