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This is a UK based forum about divorce and related issues. Feel free to contribute. Your experiences or opinions may help others. The links on the left lead to basic information about most common divorce questions. The information opens in a separate window. You can use the search function to search the forum.
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Results 1 - 30 of 113 
Topic: Does anyone ever get punished for breaching child arrangements orders?
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 4 weeks ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
I've been battling my ex-wife for 4 years to get regular access to my children. I am trying to decide whether to keep fighting or just give up and return to my home country. I currently have an application (self representing) to enforce a child arrangements order. My ex has no interest in any sort of contact between the children and me, and so far the courts haven't done anything apart from
Topic: Re: Ex Wife looking to Go Back to Court
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 4 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
I don't see the affair as a valid reason to review the financial split and I doubt a court would either.
Topic: Re: Enforcing a child arrangements order
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 5 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Thanks Bubblegum. Silly question - where do I mail the form to? I can't see an address anywhere on the form Normally I attend the family court in Holborn, but that doesn't seem to exist on the court finder any more
Topic: Re: Child matter
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 5 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
I think the real question here is what do you want and what does the child want. Mixing these issues with financial ones is not a good thing
Topic: Enforcing a child arrangements order
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 5 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
I have a child arrangements order in place, for the last 9 months my ex has been breaching this order on and off - I've missed about half of my weekly visits with my children because of this. I want to apply to the court to enforce the order, which form do I fill out? Is it C79 or C100? Is there anything else I have to do apart from filling out the form and sending it off?
Topic: Re: Likley Outcome
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 5 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
The unfortunate fact you need to accept is that The family court is a patriarchal place that likes the idea of the man breadwinning while the woman looks after the children. Adding this to the fact that your situation pre divorce was also along these lines you will have a very hard time convincing the family court to see otherwise. The family court will very much try to protect your children b
Topic: Re: Non financial disclosure??
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 7 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
If you don't follow the process there is a chance one of you can come after the other later for money. I suspect his solicitor is just performing due diligence to make sure this doesn't happen.
Topic: Re: Division of assets
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 7 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Your wife is wrong to assume that you have no claim to her house or pension. All assets from the both of you go into the pot and will be divided according to need. This includes your wife's house and her pension. Your relative incomes will also be considered, and who is looking after the children - is it primarily your wife, you or shared equally between you. Also to be considered are any ben
Topic: Requirement for MIAM
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 7 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Unfortunately my ex-wife has decided she no longer wishes to abide by our consent order in regards to when I can see my children. I want to apply to court to deal with this. According to the form C100, there is a legal requirement to attend a MIAM before applying to court. I attended a MIAM about 8 months ago, paid their £65 fee (or whatever it cost) and then my ex-wife told them she refused t
Topic: Does anyone ever get punished for breaching child arrangements order?
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 1 year ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
I have a child arrangements order which stipulates the time each week-end that I see my children. For 3 weeks running, my ex-wife has cancelled my contact, telling me nothing apart from that it is cancelled because our children are "busy". I lost my job recently and have stopped paying maintenance, I suspect she is cancelling contact to pay me back for this. I am wondering whether
Topic: My solicitor has disappeared
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 1 year ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
In the next month I'm probably going to have to apply to reduce my maintenance, unless something can be agreed out of court. I have engaged a solicitor to help with both the negotiations and the court application. The last I heard from him was about 5 weeks ago, when he sent me a letter from my ex's solicitor and asked for my thoughts, and also that he would have the court application ready by
Topic: Re: Short marriage with an affair advice
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 1 year ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
My advice is to separate matters about the affair from the finances because in the court's eyes the two issues have nothing to do with each other. The best approach is to keep emotions out of it when dealing with finances. All that really matters is - how much money is there (assets & income) What needs each party has (assets & income), most importantly the needs of any children How
Topic: Re: Not married, one child, deeds and mortgage in sole name
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 1 year ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Sometimes it's best to offer more than is "fair" and then move on. Especially considering it sounds like you have the ability to rebuild you position. You might find that once his negative influence is gone from your life you can rebuild even faster than you thought possible.
Topic: Re: previous criminal behaviour?
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 1 year ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
I'm sure a clever barrister could find a way to get this mentioned during proceedings however whether this helps you is another matter. I wouldn't bother.
Topic: Re: Stopping contact
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 1 year ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
@bubblegum You've missed the point and are clearly looking to be offended. Get off your high horse and spare me the "Children come first" as an excuse for your self-righteousness. Parents all around the country drink alcohol from time to time and get hung over the next day. They still get to see their children. In my case I didn't even find out I was going to see them until 10pm t
Topic: Re: Stopping contact
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 1 year ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
I have been through some of these challenges also. I lost access to my children for almost a year and had to go through the whole court process plus supervised access just to see them. I was falsely accused of domestic violence and even to this day are struggling to get information from doctors, schools and nurseries. I agree with David that the courts are not effective in enabling contact in
Topic: Re: How to select the best solicitor?
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 1 year ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
I used two different solicitors in my case (as well as self representing for a while) and one solicitor was clearly better than the other. In my opinion this is what to look for: 1. Someone who is organised and pays attention to detail 2. Someone who has enough time to devote to your case - this does not mean they are available at all hours, but it does mean they are able to respond promptly
Topic: Re: Money in bank accounts
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 1 year ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
I would advise against doing this, as part of divorce you need to disclose bank statements which would highlight the transfer of funds to your family. Your ex could then claim you are hiding funds, and then raise the question what else are you hiding?
Topic: Re: Using assets to pay maintenance
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 1 year ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
I have a global maintenance order, so working with CMS won't help I expect. I don't expect my ex-wife will agree to anything voluntarily either. I was considering making an application to the court to suspend maintenance from the time I lose my right to work until I am able to work again. I am wondering whether the court will have expected me to exhaust my savings before making the applicati
Topic: Using assets to pay maintenance
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 1 year ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
I am currently in the UK on a spouse visa, the endorsement in my passport expires in a few months and in order to extend it I need my soon to be ex-wife (we don’t have decree absolute yet) needs to provide some information. She is refusing to do this. I am exploring avenues to remain in the country (to be near my children) via an immigration lawyer however the advice received is that these
Topic: Re: husband says im greedy
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 1 year ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
I agree with your husband, your proposal gives you complete flexibility over your share while his is tied up in a business and a pension. Considering he has just ended a 27 year marriage I can imagine he might want more freedom. Also assets in a pension or business are untaxed and cannot be compared pound for pound against taxed assets such as cash in personal bank accounts or a house
Topic: Re: would i lose rights?
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 1 year ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
It's easy to say start the divorce now and it will only cost £1,000, you keep the house, kids ...etc but if your ex decides he's being screwed and fights back then your costs will rapidly escalate. I would recommend trying to negotiate something first.
Topic: Re: Can a judge turn the first directions into the FDR?
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 1 year ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
I think there should be an option for either party to say "My ex and I hate each other so much there is no way we will ever agree anything outside court. Can we just skip straight to the end please?" After disclosure you would have a directions hearing which specifies anything missing which needs to be done for the final hearing - e.g. Accountant / actuarial reports, missing bank a
Topic: Re: Remove me from the mortgage at the earliest opportunity?
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 1 year ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
If your ex has not tried to remove you from the mortgage then you can reasonably argue she is in breach of the order. She needs to do this. However if as you say your ex cannot afford the mortgage on her own then the bank won't allow you to be removed. She'll have made "best endeavours" as required and you'll be stuck on the mortgage until it is paid off. As to what you can do - d
Topic: Re: what steps should I take
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 1 year ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
My ex raised a loan against our house without my approval to pay for her legal fees. I was informed after the fact. So I would say yes it is possible. To make matters worse, when we got to final hearing, instead of saying each party pays their own legal fees the judge just sliced the loan (£135k) off the top of our £500k assets and then divided what was left!
Topic: Re: Time for a new type of divorce?
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 1 year ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
To follow on from David's point, your idea and others I have heard are only likely to work for the more reasonable and amicable divorces. They teach things like "Try to talk to your ex" and "stay out of court if possible" which while good advice is totally useless when your ex is the one being unreasonable. In my opinion there needs to be protection from people who abuse t
Topic: Re: Children Arrangement
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 1 year ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Regardless of whether your ex was or wasn't committed to seeing the children in the past, he clearly is now because he has taken the matter to court. If he argues that in the past you obstructed access, and you argue that you didn't, who do you think the judge is more likely to believe given that you are clearly obstructing access now? I think your ex is perfectly reasonable to be taking this
Topic: Re: Limited Company and Settlement
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 1 year ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Considering the amount of money at stake and the complexity of your finances I wouldn't try and do this without a solicitor. Make sure you get one that understands limited companies and taxation. My first solicitor didn't really understand these and it made everything harder.
Topic: Re: another financial settlement question
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 2 years ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
I don't see why you can't split everything 50/50, you were married a long time and your son is grown up now. I can see no reason to give her more. Properties inherited 20 years ago are definitely part of the marital pot. If you can both support yourselves comfortably that should be that. You earn more than her but have other commitments, she is younger than you and has more time to earn bef
Topic: Re: Final Trial
Written By: Sam_Toucan - 2 years ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
My ex was claiming that I was living an expensive party lifestyle after our separation and included over 50 pictures in the bundle of me on a skiing holiday that she had scraped from a mutual friend's Facebook. I doubt the judge even looked at them, and when her barrister started questioning me about the holiday remarked that "this line of questioning is not helping your case".
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