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This is a UK based forum about divorce and related issues. Feel free to contribute. Your experiences or opinions may help others. The links on the left lead to basic information about most common divorce questions. The information opens in a separate window. You can use the search function to search the forum.
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Topic: Re: Names after Divorce
Written By: dvrcpending - 13 days ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
ah, interesting. thank you very much.
Topic: Names after Divorce
Written By: dvrcpending - 13 days ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Hello all, Bit of a hypothetical and interesting one.... 1. First Marriage with Kids, everybody has the same surname. 2. Divorce 3. Second marriage - mum has different surname to kids 4. Divorce 5. Can mum go back to same surname as kids? does she have to wait until divorce is final? Is it automatic or deed poll? cheers
Topic: Re: Sharing costs of Family Home post divorce
Written By: dvrcpending - 30 days ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Thank you guys... much appreciated.
Topic: Sharing costs of Family Home post divorce
Written By: dvrcpending - 4 weeks ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Hello Divorce done and 80 / 20 split of family home agreed and documented in court order for financial settlement. Ex and kids have continued to live in the Family Home, now the Ex is asking for 20% of costs she has incurred in maintaining the house, insurance, paving etc. Seems a bit far fetched to me, but just putting it out there for comment please. No mention of this in Court order.
Topic: Re: Mortgate Responsibility on Family Home
Written By: dvrcpending - 2 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Many Thanks - very helpful.
Topic: Mortgate Responsibility on Family Home
Written By: dvrcpending - 2 months ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Hello All, Divorce done and dusted three years ago, 2 kids 8 and 11 living with mum and I have good access with sporadic silliness around how lucky I am I get access at all. Court order on child maintenance and mostly all happy. House split 80 / 20 and mum and kids live in the house. Issue is that house mortgage is mine. Mum unable to get mortgage of her own to buy me out. While this mo
Topic: My Journey is Over - thank you all
Written By: dvrcpending - 3 years ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
20 tumutous months after divorce proceedings started, anciliarry relief proceedings started, and anciliarry proceedings were started in family court, I sit here with a financial consent order, decree nisi, and absolute on way. I am happy with the result and I am confident in the system. My deepest heartfelt thank you to DT... his comments and answers, based on pure legal logic, years of exp
Topic: Re: what happens if the wife and kids cant afford to keep the family home
Written By: dvrcpending - 3 years ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
I ended up with 10% more than what I offered 1 year ago. What I wanted 1 year ago was a token to acknowledge that I built the place, but I was told she wants 100% as stbx's solicitor said she will get 100%. Wife ended up with 30% less effectively... really small numbers overall but Morally I am walking tall... plain greed and bullying did not win out. cheers
Topic: Re: what happens if the wife and kids cant afford to keep the family home
Written By: dvrcpending - 3 years ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Well I get all of mine and she gets hers minus costs. The bad moral of the story is that she is getting less than what I offered 1 year ago, and I'm getting more. Your comments were spot on all the way without knowing the ins and outs of this. My argument of 'You can't just sell the kids home and spank all of the equity' held I believe, and is the reason why i got more %. Whether that is ju
Topic: Re: what happens if the wife and kids cant afford to keep the family home
Written By: dvrcpending - 3 years ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Hello All, Well I promised and update and here it is. At FDR stbx arrived with a barrister and me with my bare a*se. Barrister came over quite strong about wanting this, that and the other.... I said no and asked for the barrister to tell me the details behind each demand... barrister had no real idea of what each was and had to go back to check with stbx. Came back out and agreed that they
Topic: Re: Why use a solicitor?
Written By: dvrcpending - 3 years ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Hi Reginald, I asked my stbx that question before she started proceedings... a solicitory told her she could get 100% equity when I offered 85% 9 months ago. 3 days ago said solicitor offered me 15% and a bill to my stbx of 12k, heheheheheh. cheers.
Topic: Re: what happens if the wife and kids cant afford to keep the family home
Written By: dvrcpending - 3 years ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
DT that is a very very kind effort to help and I appreciate it. So that you know that your effort and opinion has not been given in vain please know that various %'s of Equity and debt repayment plans have been offered. Unfortunately while searching for a non-existant pot of gold, stbx's solicitors fees have crossed critical mass where only house sale will work... for that I do fundamentally bl
Topic: Re: what happens if the wife and kids cant afford to keep the family home
Written By: dvrcpending - 3 years ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
DT you are totally correct from what you know. I am madly appreciative of the answers you have provided, particularly the ones where I get angry, walk to a mirror, take a long look at myself... and accept you are corrrect. The fact is that my stbx is not concerned with a best case scenario for a solution... if I had representation then it would not be just me frustrated it would be me and a v
Topic: Re: what happens if the wife and kids cant afford to keep the family home
Written By: dvrcpending - 3 years ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Dear oh Dear DT... that sounds like a a proper snipe... are you trying to bait me? The courts seem to have come up with a timely and cost efficient way to resolve divorce financials. 1. Fill out forms about your financial position 2. Swap those forms and make notes on your opposite number 3. Take those notes to FDA along with any questions 4. Judge at FDA tells you what else you
Topic: Re: what happens if the wife and kids cant afford to keep the family home
Written By: dvrcpending - 3 years ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Hey Laughing Girl.... apologies for giving you and others a headache. I have gone back to my first post here and re-read it. My next hearing will not be expensive - £127.50 is the cost of FDA and FDR combined. And a judge will give me opinon about how to proceed. Why I, or anybody in our situation would not take such an opportunity is beyond me. You are all correct at the heart of it, if
Topic: Re: what happens if the wife and kids cant afford to keep the family home
Written By: dvrcpending - 3 years ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
I'm not litigating DT. Let me explain. For 1st hearing i stated in Issues: I don't believe selling to pay of CC debt is the correct thing to do by the children. - if the house is to be sold just to pay CC debt for stbx then I should get 25% equity. This % was just enough to make selling the worse option than holding onto it. Since 1st hearing I have b
Topic: Re: what happens if the wife and kids cant afford to keep the family home
Written By: dvrcpending - 3 years ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
DT please get of your high horse. We are not anywhere near the bitter end and there is actually more at stake here than money... integrity, honesty, accountability... come to mind. I know what values I want my kids to remember me for... fact is in this case even if I handed over 100% on a silver platter with my tail between my legs, then in 6 months time the hand would have been out aga
Topic: Re: what happens if the wife and kids cant afford to keep the family home
Written By: dvrcpending - 3 years ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
DT i can totally see it from your point of view... particularly as you have probably seen a million of these and yes it would have made sense to just say go for it financially and walk away... Sam... I sooooooooooooo agree with you. Unfortunately my STBX got herself hooked up with a predatory solicitor and booom here we are.
Topic: Re: what happens if the wife and kids cant afford to keep the family home
Written By: dvrcpending - 3 years ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Grow up DT... so when somebody says "give me X or I'll stab myself in the eye with a butter knife" we should immediately cough up. Whatever, I will post once judgement is in. cheers
Topic: Re: what happens if the wife and kids cant afford to keep the family home
Written By: dvrcpending - 3 years ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
au contraire DT.... the needs of the dependant children is to be housed. In this case the wife wants to sell the house, spend the equity, then move accross the street on housing benefit dime into a smaller place.... quite what you see fair about that excapes me. The wifes solicitors bill just came in... up to and including fdr. 12k... 20% of what what is at stake.... and taken from a single
Topic: Re: what happens if the wife and kids cant afford to keep the family home
Written By: dvrcpending - 3 years ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Hmmmm I'm not so sure DT.... Pays you lawyer types to keep the mystique around judges and courts all scary. The court system is fair as you have said on this site upteen times... not sure why the sudden draconian point of view...
Topic: Re: what happens if the wife and kids cant afford to keep the family home
Written By: dvrcpending - 3 years ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
>>Yes, it is. She remains your wife and they remain your children no matter where she chooses to live. You cannot dictate where she lives. Are you mad?? She remains my wife... Are you Mad?? She asked me to leave the family home, divorced me (Nisi awarded), continued to live in the family home for 18 months with me paying the mtg, and is now asking me to spend thousands on paying her de
Topic: Re: what happens if the wife and kids cant afford to keep the family home
Written By: dvrcpending - 3 years ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Hey DT... I just said that i don't want to make her stay there... let me repeat it... I DON'T WANT HER TO STAY THERE IF SHE DOESNT WANT TO. BUT.... IF SHE WANTS TO MOVE IT IS NOT MY OR OUR CHILDRENS RESPONSIBILITY TO PAY FOR IT. IN 18 months of rent free accomodation she could have definitely set herself up to move wherever she wants. It is not that she doesn't want to stay there... stbx
Topic: Re: what happens if the wife and kids cant afford to keep the family home
Written By: dvrcpending - 3 years ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
It is weird what I'm doing and I know i can't force her to stay there and i don't want to. At the same time why should I agree to burn the family home just because she wants to?? Because her plan is so plainly wrong and detrimental to everybody involved - particularly the kids. I am looking to use that as leverage with the court. One end of the scale is a mesher order, or she buys the place wh
Topic: Re: what happens if the wife and kids cant afford to keep the family home
Written By: dvrcpending - 3 years ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Unfortunately stbx and her solicitor do not agree. She now has solicitors fees equal to more than 10% of what is at stake, trying to force me to sell via silly letters and threats that I ignore... at first hearing the Judge looked at them both and said "These fees are quite high... I need you to understand that these fees are your responsibility (petitioner), we will not be assigning these
Topic: Re: what happens if the wife and kids cant afford to keep the family home
Written By: dvrcpending - 3 years ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
We will see if the judge at FDR agrees and what 'opinion' he provides... I will post in a couple of weeks. cheers
Topic: Re: what happens if the wife and kids cant afford to keep the family home
Written By: dvrcpending - 3 years ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Hi DT, I'm well on my way, FDR (2nd Hearing) soon. About 50K equity in FMH once sold and all selling costs and mtg penalties taken off. This is the sum of what is in contention. She gets about £550 in child maint from me. Fact of the matter is that there is no way stbx can buy post selling, even if she got 90% of equity. She has listed her CC debts that must be paid, her sols costs, a
Topic: Re: what happens if the wife and kids cant afford to keep the family home
Written By: dvrcpending - 3 years ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
heheheh... this is too funny.... >>>Why should the family home be sold and where would your children live? I am asking exactly the same question but I'm the father and NOT living in the family home - just paying the mtg - and home is in my name. If I agree to a sale and give 85% of equity over it is going to go on paying her solicitor and Credit Card debt, then kids will be in
Topic: Re: 23 Years After Divorce
Written By: dvrcpending - 3 years ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
Brilliant, Brilliant, Brilliant read. Beyond Belief - thanks and all the best, enjoy the bubbles! DT - your efforts and gutsy willingness to back yourself on a public forum cannot be commended enough! cheers
Topic: Re: Financial Liabilities?
Written By: dvrcpending - 3 years ago
Forum: UK Divorce Forum
hahahahah... only if you are in the middle of a divorce can this sound like a 'reasonable' thing to do.
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