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History: Home UK Divorce Forum
Topic:
Help advice on custody rights! (2 Posts)
Started By:
Date:
28 October, 2009 07:18PM
Help advice on custody rights!
Helpneeded - 28 October, 2009 07:18PM
I am helping my much loved friend through her separation.

Has anyone got any advice they can give on child custody. Her husband left at the beginning of the year and moved a few streets away with his mother. It has since come out in the wash that he has been having a long running affair.

Their son is now 20months and has recently had some serious health issues. They have an informal arrangement that he sees the child every other weekend. for almost 2 full days. My friend has not ever messed him around on seeing his son and dispite loathing him is try to rise above it all for her sons sake.

Recently he has introduced his lover to the child and now wants to start taking the child to stay at her flat .....over 40 -50 miles away in the middle of a city ( we live in a very rural area).

Can he do this without the mothers permission. My friend is not being bitter but worried the child has Asthma and the father is not very capable in emergencies the lover has no children of her own so no experience and of course my friend has no idea what this flat is like whether it is equipped for a small child and whether it is safe.

The father has epilepsy so there is a real duty of responsibility placed on who ever is with him and the child when he is visiting. Help!!
Re: Help advice on custody rights!
davidterry - 29 October, 2009 09:33AM
It does your friend credit that she helps facilitate the link between father and child. The child is very young, after all. When parents separate it is normally in the best interests of children to have good quality contact with both parents and your friend seems to realise this.

And when a relationship breaks down each parent does usually move on and meet someone else. The child will naturally meet the new person in that parent’s life and that is part of life.

Most parents do look after their children and, although it can be difficult when a marriage is breaking down, most parents do work out satisfactory arrangements for contact between themselves. It sounds as though this is what your friend is trying to do. If she has concerns there is no reason why she should not raise them with her husband but it best to do this within a positive context. That is within the context of trying to see how contact can be a positive experience for the child as opposed to a thinking of ways to frustrate contact. That is usually what works best and it sounds as though it what your friend is trying to do.

I would make one final point. If your friend is separated from her husband and he has a new partner then your friend would be wise to think about getting a divorce. Simply being separated is not very satisfactory for all sorts of reasons. Both of them need to move on with their lives and a divorce will help them do that.
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