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History: Home UK Divorce Forum
children (4 Posts)
Started By:
28 October, 2009 11:52AM
mac - 28 October, 2009 11:52AM
we have been separated 6 month,my wife filling now for divorce,on unrasonable behaviour .we have 2 children and financial issues.
no details of what is unrasonable behaviour yet,but i do not accept yet.can she divorce now or she has to wait for 2 years separation?
i own my house and have bought her previously a house which she has moved to,can i sell my own house now or she can freeze my assets?
children custody issues,can it be resolved now or we have to wait 2 years,as she only allow me few hours a week when she like it..can i have my children half the week?
i have been sent the finical disclosure form by her solicitor prior to the actual petition to coutrt,do i have to fill it now or can i wait and for how long?
Re: children
davidterry - 28 October, 2009 12:08PM
If your wife wants a divorce and she is properly advised she can have one (as can you) whether you want a divorce or not. And she can have one now. It is absurd to think you can make her wait two years. What would be the sense of that from her point of view? Divorce based on two years’ separation requires consent and on the evidence of your attitude to a divorce now your wife cannot count in getting your consent in two years time. She will not go for that and she will not be advised to do so.

In any case what is the point of putting your life on hold? You need to get financial issues between you and your wife settled once for all so you can both move on with your lives and rebuild your assets. For this reason it is in your interest as much as in the interest of your wife for there to be a divorce now. How would you feel if you carried on contributing to a pension for the next two years only then to find that your wife wanted half of what you had contributed since separation?

I think you will find that if you try to sell the house before financial issues have been settled between you a solicitor is quite likely to advise your wife to freeze the sale. This is another reason why it is in your interests to get this settled sooner rather than later.

You should not complete any financial disclosure form even before the issue of a divorce petition. If there is to be financial disclosure it should be mutual and within a framework which leads to a conclusion. Just making unilateral disclosure to your wife’s solicitor is not likely to be in your best interests.

Problems about contact with children are common when a marriage breaks down. More often than not they resolve themselves once the divorce and financial issues have been settled. By leaving those issues in flux you probably postpone being able to come to an amicable arrangement with your wife about contact with the children.
Re: children
mac - 28 October, 2009 12:54PM
thank you for your reply.i do not believe in divorce as it destructive to children and been trying to resolve our issues for sometime,however as it is the usual,she is getting the usual legal adice to destroy the family and take as much as she can.but if this is our fate i have to accept it.my problem is my children,they are my life,she is refusing sharing the time,only few hours when she like it?
can this be setteled by court prior to finical issues.i do not mind if she takes more money,but to have my children byherself and taking as much of my savings is not acceptable and is unfair since her resons for divorce is that there is no love anymore.
i have been a good father and husband for 10 years and have not done anything wrong to my family.
with regard to my house,it is my own property and i bought her a house in her name years ago where she has moved to 6 month ago with no mortages liabilites.does she have any legal interest in my own house?
at what stage of the court procedings does finical disclosure has to be cleared?
Re: children
davidterry - 28 October, 2009 02:17PM
Whether you believe in divorce or not is not relevant. The law of this country permits divorce and so if that is what your wife wants she will be able to have one. Parliament decided many years ago, in common with virtually all other countries, that allowing divorce is preferable to forcing people to remain in unhappy marriages. Children also suffer in unhappy marriages. It is not about whether you have done anything wrong. The courts are not interested in who is more to blame for the breakdown of a marriage. All a court is interested in is whether the marriage has broken down irretrievably or not. And if one spouse thinks it has then there is nothing to be gained by arguing otherwise. A marriage takes two people.

In the event of a dispute about children it is possible to take such a dispute before a court at any time while the children are still dependent. There are no cut off dates. But most parents do settle matters to do with children between themselves and this is by far the best way of doing it. Going to court about children should always be regarded as the very last resort. It is difficult to agree arrangements for children while going through a divorce but when the divorce is over most parents do come to arrangements they can both live with. You would probably be wiser to give this time rather than make it into a confrontation.

As to finances it is impossible to know without knowing the figures. For instance, your house might the three times the value of the one you bought her or it may be of about the same value. The figures are everything in this type of question.
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