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Consent order help needed (11 Posts)
Started By:
25 January, 2018 03:53PM
Consent order help needed
fractal - 25 January, 2018 03:53PM
Hi guys,

I am about to file for divorce but have a question regarding the consent order which I will file as soon as the Nisi comes through.

My soon to be Ex wife has said that she doesn't want a share of any of my assets or any maintenance e.g. No share of my house, no share of my pension, no maintenance for her or for my Stepson. She has said that she will sign the consent order and I believe her as we are still friends despite the fact that she committed and continues to commit adultery.

My question is: Will the Judge refuse this on the grounds that it's unfair even though we both agree?

I ask because on the face of it, it does sound unfair but this is what she wants or doesn't want in this case and there has been no duress etc. as we are both still friends and she fully understands that she may be entitled to a share of things e.g. house/pension even though I had these before we married. Pension is ongoing though so of course has been increasing. I haven't in any way said that she isn't entitled to anything and have just asked if and what she wants and she says she wants nothing.

Thanks in advance.
Re: Consent order help needed
Andyk - 25 January, 2018 05:07PM
It depends on what she has to contribute to the pot. If her savings/earnings/pension are similar to yours then it might be fair. If however she doesn't have anything or her assets are significantly lower than yours then a judge would not think that fair to her and probably wouldn't approve it. The other thing to consider is how long you have been married, if it is a long marriage then she would be entitled to more than if you have been married a year.
Re: Consent order help needed
fractal - 25 January, 2018 05:40PM
We've been married for 4 years. Her assets are non existent. She hasnt contributed anything financially to the household expenses or assets. She works but her declared income is very low. I can show and she would also state in front of a judge that she has sent most of her income to supoort her family who live in another country. She is in this country on a spousal visa and so might not even still be in this country by the time the consent order goes before a judge. However if she is still here and would even state before a judge that but she doesent want anything of mine then how would that be handled?

Would the judge insist that she gets a share of my assets even though she doesn't want them?
Re: Consent order help needed
davidterry - 26 January, 2018 10:56AM
A judge cannot do that but a judge can refuse to approve a consent order if he/she thinks it is unfair. How old is the stepson? Has that child lived with you and is he supported by his biological father? Also, how much do you earn approximately and how much does your wife earn? These are all factors which a court is likely to consider in whether proposed terms of settlement are fair.
Re: Consent order help needed
fractal - 26 January, 2018 11:06AM
Our Stepson has lived with us and has been supported by us during our 4 years his biological father has not contributed and he will be aged 6 by the time the divorce comes through. I earn approx 23000 and her declared income for last year was around 7000.

As stated earlier she has not contributed finanticially to any household bills shopping etc. The one exception is she has contributed to child care. The rest of her income has been sent monthly to her mother/father abroad.

She is adamant that she does not want any share of the house (I'd already played mortgages on for 12 years before we met) or my pension. She has also said that she does not want any ongoing maintenance or financial support from me.
Re: Consent order help needed
davidterry - 26 January, 2018 02:27PM
Well, in these circumstances it does not look fair to me that your wife (who has the care of a six year old child who has been treated as a child of the family) should walk away with nothing. It doesn't look fair to you either so I doubt that it will look fair to a judge.
Re: Consent order help needed
fractal - 26 January, 2018 03:31PM
I agree and have tried to explain that she can have some money etc. but she says that she won't accept anything as I according to her have already done enough in taking care of her and my stepson, helping to support her family and paying for visas etc.

So she won't accept anything even though I'm willing to give and I want this settled once and for all so where do we go from here as I don't want the possibility of a future claim hanging over me for life?
Re: Consent order help needed
Andyk - 26 January, 2018 04:07PM
If you don't want a claim hanging over you for the rest of your life then you really do need to get a consent order. You could chance it and run the risk that it does not get approved (and probably lose the fees) but at least then you know you have tried. If that happens you could always do another one where you do give her some money and agree with her that she then pays it back to you but that may well have other implications, for example if she is looking to claim benefits.
Re: Consent order help needed
fractal - 26 January, 2018 07:15PM
I'll try to offer her some money but I wouldn't want it back as even though she has and is commiting adultery, I still care about what happens to both her and my stepson.

Please know that although I've been asking about not giving her money that I have offered and want to do the right thing by her.

Thanks for the help guys

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 26/01/2018 07:16PM by fractal.
Re: Consent order help needed
Maddie - 29 January, 2018 10:18AM
Your wife commiting adultery is irrelevant.
Re: Consent order help needed
fractal - 30 January, 2018 01:23PM
Hi Maddie,

I never said it was relevant, I only actually mentioned it whilst saying that I do still care what happens to her and that I'm trying to do the right thing e.g. give her money etc. but she is refusing any money or share of the house etc.

Thanks again for all the help.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 30/01/2018 01:23PM by fractal.
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