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History: Home UK Divorce Forum
Topic:
Will this be considered a fair settlement by the courts? (19 Posts)
Started By:
Date:
07 January, 2018 10:39PM
Will this be considered a fair settlement by the courts?
sjb1990 - 07 January, 2018 10:39PM
Hello

I am concerned that I will not get the clean break order that I desire, and worried the judge will not pass what myself and the ex wife have agreed. What do you think?

child care/maintenance
We have a 2 year old child I intend to look after him from Friday evening through to Monday morning and have an evening with during the week thus in effect myself and wife sharing the parental responsibilities 50/50 I will pay her£86 an month and shall look to split childcare costs 50/50 set up on an family based agreement

Pension
I do not believe that my wife should be entitled to any of my pension due to only being married for 6 months before the break down of our marriage and we're both under 30 still

Savings
my savings should remain mine as these are what I saved up prior to meeting my ex wife so believe she should have no entitlement of these

Car
The car we owned prior to our current car was used as part payment and the rest was savings I had prior to meeting my wife therefore I believe I shouldn't have to give her any contributions for her for a car the car was also brought before marriage

Property
We own the property as tenants in common with a declaration of trust stating that the property is owned in unequal shares 80% to 20% in my favour and the first £36250 should be paid to myself. We paid £145000 for the property in 2014 and now estimate its worth £170000 and we would look to split the property as per the declaration of trust meaning and myself buying her share out paying out £5984. I would pay for all property related fee's

items in property
We will try and split things as equally as possible items such as washing machine and tumble dryer are hers while fridge freezer and dish washer is mine. we have 2 sofas so will have 1 each 2 TV's I'm sure we can reach an agreement on this amicably

Fee's
we would split all legal fee's 50/50 for this matter

Future living cost
my basic earnings will be £1777pm, whilst hers will be £1626 with help of benefits.or with the payment of £86 taken into account I would be left with £1691 pm while shell have £1712pm and with the possibility of earning more when our son starts full time nursery and school I predict our living cost's will be very similar

Reason for divorce
unreasonable behaviour she as been on multiple dating site since marriage last march an some dates and cheated on me at least twice that I know off obviously I could use adultery but I have been advised this can take longer and cost more to use this as a reason

what do you think, is this fair will a judge pass this. its a very short term marriage I brought more into this financially than she did I know she has raised our child during the past 2 years but have paid for her to live. We came to the 80/20 split as when we first started living together we was both earning I was paying toward all bills at £250 while she was contributing £50 per week and we kept this bases on.
Re: Will this be considered a fair settlement by the courts?
jill_of_all_trades - 08 January, 2018 02:28PM
Not a judge. Not a solicitor. She has taken a career hit you haven't over the past two years and your suggested split of childcare duties leaves her doing all the running around child minders and nurseries during the week and taking the consequent career hit of not being seen to be flexible over the 9-5. This sets her up to be a lot worse off than you over the long term and additionally leaves her in the position of not being the fun parent who takes your child out at weekends.
Re: Will this be considered a fair settlement by the courts?
sjb1990 - 08 January, 2018 06:29PM
She works mainly weekends so this is how we came to this arrangement and ill drop our son off at school or childminder monday mornings or hers Sunday night/Monday morning and plan to pick him up from school/minders on the weeknight i have him. Obviously i understand that shell want time with him some weekends and I'll allow this to happen same as i might want to take him out other evenings. As for her career I'm not going to be penalised for her not creating a career for herself at 18 like myself and when he starts school shell have more time to focus on a career. And with this arrangement i will actually take a earnings cut as ill no longer be able to be on call out for work
Re: Will this be considered a fair settlement by the courts?
davidterry - 08 January, 2018 06:37PM
Frankly, if your wife receives proper advice this all sounds very unrealistic to me. Your wife is entitled to far more than you are offering. Your declaration of trust isn't worth a heap of beans within the context of marriage and divorce.

You say that the marriage broke down after six months but you also say that there is a 2 year old child. So,

1. When were you married?
2. Have divorce proceedings been issued yet.
Re: Will this be considered a fair settlement by the courts?
sjb1990 - 08 January, 2018 06:42PM
March 2017. And not yet but have discussed things with each other and this is what we have come up with together
Re: Will this be considered a fair settlement by the courts?
sjb1990 - 08 January, 2018 07:00PM
May i add that we both see this as fair settlement due to the length of the marriage and the money i put into the home. Also we are both happy with the child arrangement. How would you make this fairer? Would you suggest splitting the equity differently?
Re: Will this be considered a fair settlement by the courts?
Lanzo - 08 January, 2018 08:51PM
Hello sir,

I am not legally trained in law or divorce matters my only experience is from my divorce 4 years ago however having read your proposal to your wife I would say that no judge would sign this of as fair and I can see from your comment.

“I am concerned that I will not get the clean break order that I desire, and worried the judge will not pass what myself and the ex wife have agreed.”

that you also have an inkling that this would be the case.

Although this can be classed as a short marriage there is a young child involved and the primary concern of the courts will be the housing needs of the child. How will these needs be addressed where will they live after divorce ?

From what I can see you are giving your wife 20% of the house equity (£5K), £86/month for child care (is there a 0 missing ?) none of your pension, none of your savings.

As Mr Terry has said if your wife receives proper legal advice she will be shown that she’s entitled to a lot more, and that lot more will be to see that she and the child are rehoused effectively.

So if you want to get an idea of what the courts will see as fair you will really need to take this point into account.

Best regards

Lanzo
Re: Will this be considered a fair settlement by the courts?
sjb1990 - 08 January, 2018 09:21PM
Shes already looking at moving out and renting her own place she doesn't want to stay living here where as i do. This will give our son a continuity of living in same home when hes living with myself. I put in a considerable amount of money in the property my deposit was 36k i paid for all stamp duty and other buying fees when we brought the property this is stated in the declaration of trust. I have also funded and carried out many upgrades repairs to the property during 3 years of ownership. Would it seem fair to split the remaining equity after my deposit 50/50 thus if the property is valued at 170k shell get a 15k payout this is equal to what she would have earnt if she wss still working in same job as when we brought the property. And means my living costs would be more than hers and she would have more savings.
Re: Will this be considered a fair settlement by the courts?
sjb1990 - 08 January, 2018 09:32PM
I really can't see how this isnt fair shes brought nothing financially into the relationship. Our son will have 2 houses mine and her rented property. She'll end up with 15k in savings compared to my 10k less all legal fees and buying new furniture. And we'll share custody as equally as possible.

However i want this marriage to work and be fixed most of all however her behaviour is unacceptable and shes not stopping i know you can't punish unreasonable behaviour but i just want a fair outcome for everyone.

Knowing all our financial ins outs what would you class as fair?
Re: Will this be considered a fair settlement by the courts?
HatMan - 09 January, 2018 06:44AM
The child trumps the declaration of trust, you will need to accept a more even share of the house equity and stop focusing on what you put in originally I suspect.
Re: Will this be considered a fair settlement by the courts?
Andyk - 09 January, 2018 08:49AM
If she sees a solicitor then she will more than likely be told to stay put in the house, regardless of who paid what and the declaration of trust, it is the marital home and with a child, as David said that declaration isn't worth anything.
Re: Will this be considered a fair settlement by the courts?
davidterry - 09 January, 2018 10:34AM
There is a two year old child so if you were married in March 2017 that can hardly be described as the beginning of your relationship. The more important question in these circumstances is when your relationship started not when you got married.
Re: Will this be considered a fair settlement by the courts?
sjb1990 - 09 January, 2018 04:50PM
We brought the house in October 2014 but rented previously for a year.
Re: Will this be considered a fair settlement by the courts?
davidterry - 09 January, 2018 05:39PM
>>I really can't see how this isnt fair shes brought nothing financially into the relationship.

Really? She's had a child by you and it is now clear that the relationship is one of five years. She gets to live in rented property, you get to live in your own house and you pay her £86 per month in child maintenance. I don't think that is fair and I doubt that a judge would either.
Re: Will this be considered a fair settlement by the courts?
Maddie - 10 January, 2018 02:29PM
You need to head back to Earth and start thinking about your child's needs rather than what you think is fair.
Re: Will this be considered a fair settlement by the courts?
xhikarux - 11 January, 2018 02:08AM
I'm just passing by and saw this thread. Your thinking is exactly like my ex, he only thought of himself and his house. Although he always says he loves his son very much, everything he focused on was basically how he would manage monthly, esp paying the mortgage. He never thought about us at all. In fact he calculated everything penny with me and also told me to claim benefits like what u are telling ur wife. I'm not legally trained and certainly I know nothing about the law, but based on the information given by my solicitors, ur wife is entitled to far more than u have offered her. U must be living in Disneyland!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/01/2018 02:10AM by xhikarux.
Re: Will this be considered a fair settlement by the courts?
sjb1990 - 11 January, 2018 09:08PM
exactly why I'm posting on this forum what do you people think would be a fair settlement? Every solicitor i have spoken too have given me different advice. Sorry but i feel like she married me for her own personal gain. I know we have a child together i have worked relentlessly to try and solve our issues tried councilling but she just wants out. She says she wont ever trust her self again or i wont be able too



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/01/2018 09:11PM by sjb1990.
Re: Will this be considered a fair settlement by the courts?
Willapp - 12 January, 2018 11:16AM
Hello there,

Firstly sorry for your situation. I too am not a solicitor but am also about to go through the divorce process. No children involved but I am already learning what I suspect you will learn too: marriage means nothing is "yours" any longer. Even with such a short one, having a child vastly complicates the situation. I am already facing the prospect of paying my ex far more than I ever imagined, but that's another story.

What I would suggest, urgently, is if you want to avoid your ex going to a solicitor - which not only gets expensive with fees, but could result in you paying a LOT more - is to make a much higher offer than your current one. Good enough that a judge will sign it off, saving you legal fees and drama along the way. As David says, the length of the marriage isn't always as important as the length of the relationship, which by the sounds of it is around 5 years, so no longer "short" if not "long" either.

I think what it will come down to is how you split the house equity and child maintenance payments. Maybe you have some flexibility here, e.g. try to negotiate keeping more of the equity (per the spirit of your trust declaration, even if it may not have legal status now) but offer considerably more than £86 per month in maintenance. Probably a few hundred pounds. Either that or give up more of the equity (think of these as a choice between a lump-sum payment versus monthly finance - it works out the same).

This is just my opinion but I think if you can show a more generous offer (whether you think it's too much or not - deal with that yourself in private reflection, as I have tried to do), it may be enough to satisfy a judge and you can both move on with your lives.

Good luck!
Re: Will this be considered a fair settlement by the courts?
davidterry - 12 January, 2018 12:15PM
>>the length of the marriage isn't always as important as the length of the relationship, which by the sounds of it is around 5 years, so no longer "short" if not "long" either.

That is true as far as it goes but remember that this factor pales into insignificance compared to the fact that there is a dependent child of the relationship.
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