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Ancillary Relief (9 Posts)
Started By:
29 November, 2017 03:30PM
Ancillary Relief
EclipsedMind - 29 November, 2017 03:30PM
Just wondered what to expect once we reach this stage.

Short Marriage - 5 years
I am 43 she is 37 both degree educated although she didnt work since we married
One child living with me from first marriage and two living with her born during the current marriage.

- Matrimonial home occupied by me with about 27k equity.
- Cash assets of 25k (was a 45k further advance on mortgage)
- My pension circa 115k
- Car of value at most 2k

She liquidated/spent all her traceable assets since we split
I pay maintenance through CMEC on time and in full every month
I am still owed monies from first marriage with a payout in 8 years time (amount 40K possibly 60k but wording on order is imprecise and will end up in court for sure).
I earn circa 47k pa but have to pay for a lot of childcare and my job is not safe due to medical problems

Ex and our children are in housing association property and she claims full benefits. I have the two children from the marriage stay with me every weekend (court ordered and what she wanted). My house is just big enough for all and I have no spare rooms and mortgage is similar to rental prices for a 3 bed.

5 years ago when we married I had about 70k pension and 20k equity in home if that matters. During marriage we just about managed month to month and lived frugally having no holidays.

Needs : Both the child living with me and myself suffered abuse at ex's hands and are having to pay for therapy and will probably need to continue for the next year. I also have medical issues (unexplained loss of consciousness) which may make working difficult if it happens too often (employer is worried as I passed out in front of the team). My employer is pressing me to reduce my hours which would be financial suicide :-/

Ex has legal aid as she made a vague DA allegation which police NFA after a brief chat with myself and social services but she got legal aid anyway. It cost almost 20k in legal fees just to get to see the kids again :-(

What kind of result should I expect in ancillary relief? Mediation has been declined and they are stalling on the voluntary disclosure for 4 months already.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 30/11/2017 07:53AM by EclipsedMind.
Re: Ancillary Relief
davidterry - 29 November, 2017 04:33PM
You do not mention divorce proceedings. Since you are living in the former matrimonial home it is in your interest to get everything settled formally as soon as you can which means a divorce and a formal and final settlement made in those divorce proceedings. Unless you do that you may find that in X number of years time while you have been paying the mortgage your ex wife comes after you for a share in a property which may have increased significantly in value. At the moment while your ex seems to live in secure accommodation you stand a reasonable chance of retaining the former matrimonial home. That could easily change if the figures change as they are likely to do the longer it is left.
Re: Ancillary Relief
EclipsedMind - 30 November, 2017 07:56AM
The decree nisi was issued in June but the other side are objecting to the decree absolute being applied for due to wanting to protect the spouse pension rights until ancillary relief is resolved.

I want to settle matters fairly quickly but have no idea what to expect. As I mentioned I have one child living with me and she has two living with her which appears to muddy the waters slightly. Given the needs of each side what kind of asset division might be appropriate and should I be expecting to pay spousal. Should the unrealised asset from my first divorce be counted and does the length of the marriage effect things? Aside from the mortgage I have no debts as I have paid off the 8k we owed when we split so I can probably borrow to pay the ex off so I just want to recognise what a fair offer might look like.
Re: Ancillary Relief
davidterry - 30 November, 2017 09:30AM
>>The decree nisi was issued in June but the other side are objecting to the decree absolute being applied for due to wanting to protect the spouse pension rights until ancillary relief is resolved.

Then you have waited quite long enough and then some. If you want a determinate time table for getting this settled you need to issue a court application. If you and your wife can agree terms of settlement during the course of that application then you both gain. You clearly have a solicitor who can answer the other questions for you.
Re: Ancillary Relief
EclipsedMind - 30 November, 2017 10:08AM
Thank you david for you input. My solicitor every time I have asked has fobbed me off with its complicated and not easy to calculate. My Sol seems obsessed with waiting for them to voluntarily disclose which they asked for in July and we were ready a week later and have been stonewalled on since. Whenever I raise it the implication is that it will cost me much more if they have to do the form E and its better to wait and do it voluntarily.

I have deliberately been careful not to spend any of the assets these last few months and have been funding house repairs and unexpected bills from my income by reducing my living expenses and lifestyle. In order to make better decisions (pension contributions etc.) I kind of need to know what my liabilities might be. Is it really impossible to know what the payout I need to find might be?
Re: Ancillary Relief
davidterry - 30 November, 2017 02:07PM
>>Is it really impossible to know what the payout I need to find might be?

No, but a lot depends on what your wife wants and why. Frankly, you have waited quite long enough for voluntary disclosure. And when there is no agreement after this voluntary disclosure, what then? More months go by? The delay is not in your interest. You need to impose a time table upon this and the only way you can do that is by issuing a formal court application. And there is nothing to prevent early disclosure and/or reaching agreement after a formal application has been issued. The point is that a court imposed time table prevents your ex playing these games indefinitely which is what is happening at the moment and which may go on happening unless you do something about it.
Re: Ancillary Relief
EclipsedMind - 30 November, 2017 03:03PM
Thank you for the reply. I have given very clear instructions to the solicitor just now to make a court application so we can get this moving. I asked them the same question about numbers and again just get vague answers of broadly "it depends".

I have no idea what my Ex might want but I would assume it to be as much as it is possible to obtain as she is quite displeased with me for divorcing her and will inevitably see it as a means of extracting revenge. I don't mind paying what the law demands but I would like to understand what that is (avg or worst case) so I can prepare for it and work out how to finance it. I am trying to work out what the impact is so I can work out how to best support my children post divorce once the decimation has happened and what my retirement plan might be.

Thanks for all the replies so far.
Re: Ancillary Relief
davidterry - 30 November, 2017 05:48PM
Regardless of what you have to pay the fact is that there are two items which it is in your interest to have settled formally and finally as soon as you reasonably can. One is the former matrimonial home and the other is your pension. Both of those are capable of going up in value and the longer they are left the more likely that is. The sooner you get these two issues settled the sooner you can pay whatever you want into the home you occupy and/or contribute to your pension without worrying that will benefit your ex wife. These are two issues which it is in your interest to get resolved as soon as you reasonably can no matter what the final details of any final settlement turn out to be.
Re: Ancillary Relief
ch - 02 December, 2017 03:52PM
Your story sounds very similar to mine: my solicitor and ex not moving the divorce and financial settlement forward and I am now separated over 4 years, divorced for 14 months and still waiting for a court hearing to settle the finances. Of course in all this time my pension has increased and I now find that my ex-husband wants half of my pension as, it appears, he has not paid into a fund since we separated.

I understand your frustration and really hope you can be firm with your solicitor and insist that the matter is advances asap.

good luck
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