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History: Home UK Divorce Forum
Topic:
Please help !!!! Short marriage divorce with a bipolar!!! (13 Posts)
Started By:
Date:
05 November, 2017 04:16PM
Please help !!!! Short marriage divorce with a bipolar!!!
Boomouse - 05 November, 2017 04:16PM
Please help ! My good friend married for the second time beginning of 2016 , he is 54 dated her for two years but they didn't live together , she was in private rented property and working . After the marriage she moved into his home that his owned outright for 15 year and he has savings as is semi retired (his first divorce had cost him 360k 12 years before) . He had stupidly not done a prenup but there was no reason to think he was being played . Within weeks of her moving in she had a full mental breakdown where she was ambulance driven to hospital, turned out she was bipolar , and had a history of mental health issues which had been hidden from him during their time dating (she had insisted on the marriage) she became anorexic went down to 6 stone , was heavily medicated and under a metal health team (still is ) moved into spare room of property for the rest of the six months they co habited (obviously never worked ) but the mania and bizarre behavier became too much for my friend he himself ended up in hospital with heart and stress issues and his 25 year old son had to move out ! She moved back in with her elderly parents September 2016 and has been with them ever since on disability benefit due to her mental state, refused to remove her belongings from the house so they are in storage in the garage and my friend started divorce proceedings after Christmas 2016 and these have been in going ever since . (He felt he had been deliberately lied to and the marriage had been a sham on which her family members and her had withheld the truth about her condition which must have run in cycles her whole life, the time they had dated she had seemed normal and functional but within weeks of co habiting this seemed to have tipped her back to complete life risking mania) . He initially offered her 50k for a quick end and divorce to walk away as she hadnt brought a penny into the marriage or contributed a penny but due to guilt about her health she could at least of set up a new rental and lived on her benefits , she refused , her parents are funding the divorce her side as turns out they don't want her living at home either due to the stress of her behaviour. They have dragged the proceedings so far costing my friend thousands and constantly denied her mental state despite the mental team she is under , physical appearance , and disability allowance due to mental health !? This is costing for separate doctors paid for by my friend to state she can sign her own legal papers !? (This is still under way) . Her legal side want my friend to provide her a home and as the 6 months she lived with my friend she had a big garden the property provided MUST have a garden and be in similar standard to his house !? OR she will return to live in his house on condition that she doesnt have a right to any of his other savings/money ect.......and he could at least try to file for divorce at a later date ! But he doesn't want anything more to do with her and as she self medicates could be a real danger to herself or him ! They have had minimal contact for over a year now and already estranged but in her mind she acts like nothing is wrong , even stated she would live in the garden in a lodge!? and would kill herself if he divorces her ! He has kept recordings and all written contact of her bizzare behaviour since the split for evidence.....please could you advice why he has to provide a full home costing 100s of thousand or be stuck with her after a marriage that broke down after a matter of weeks for a reason that was hidden from him and he had still offered the 50k without prejudice, his solicitor is charging a fortune and telling him he has to do all this.....he is at the verge of a full breakdown himself....ive even stopped him doing something very silly this weekend! I'm so scared for him she is waging a war in the background to his family members too ...its a very horrible situation . Thankyou . Vicky
Re: Please help !!!! Short marriage divorce with a bipolar!!!
jill_of_all_trades - 05 November, 2017 04:37PM
I think your friend is cherry picking facts when he confides in you. Either that or he is not hearing the solicitor properly.
Re: Please help !!!! Short marriage divorce with a bipolar!!!
Boomouse - 05 November, 2017 04:55PM
Maybe but his an old neighbour and his son who was living there has confided in me most of this and the rest I've been told/read after letting myself just be a friend to confide in so be no point in not stating facts, no hidden motive , I've read all the legal paperwork and says you have to provide a home of a similar standard to her no matter how short the marriage, the other option was just to try and save him the financial burden of this by getting her to sign a doc to deny her any further claim on his assets .
Re: Please help !!!! Short marriage divorce with a bipolar!!!
davidterry - 06 November, 2017 10:38AM
>>I've read all the legal paperwork and says you have to provide a home of a similar standard to her no matter how short the marriage,

That's rubbish. Her solicitors might say that (well, they would, wouldn't they) but that doesn't mean to say it's true. This is a short marriage and there are no dependent children.
Re: Please help !!!! Short marriage divorce with a bipolar!!!
Boomouse - 06 November, 2017 12:49PM
That what I seem to have read too ! Told him to pay up and close with his current solicitor and find a new one as you say why are all assets before marriage protected yet you have to supply a home !? Defeats the object . Will post what I find out on here to help anyone else in this situ ....seperating the mental side of this lots of people have a very short marriage situation through no fault of their own .
Re: Please help !!!! Short marriage divorce with a bipolar!!!
Boomouse - 06 November, 2017 01:45PM
Update today for anyone reading this , yes he does have to provide her a home ....so anyone with nothing marry someone who has some money ....give it a few weeks tell them you want a divorce and in 12 months you can have a free house! ....prenup everybody !!!
Re: Please help !!!! Short marriage divorce with a bipolar!!!
HatMan - 06 November, 2017 01:53PM
That is still rubbish, who is telling you this ? certainly not a qualified solicitor!

Oh and Pre Nups aren't watertight either.
Re: Please help !!!! Short marriage divorce with a bipolar!!!
Andyk - 06 November, 2017 01:57PM
She wont get his house, it just doesn't work like that. That is not to say that he wont have to pay her something to perhaps get her on her feet again like a few months rent up front, or if he is a multi millionaire then he might have to buy her a house but after a short marriage with no dependent children she is not going to walk into his house and take it off him.
Re: Please help !!!! Short marriage divorce with a bipolar!!!
Boomouse - 06 November, 2017 02:32PM
Apparently as she gave up her rental and moved in on wedding day....and now she can't work as on disability allowance he has to provide her living accommodation, she's refused the 50k refused to look at a part share property (to keep purchase price lower as area they live in is a cple hundred k for a flat ! .... and the idea of her co habiting platonically in his house on exchange for her signing a post nup isn't something my friend thinks his nerves could take ....
Re: Please help !!!! Short marriage divorce with a bipolar!!!
Boomouse - 06 November, 2017 02:36PM
I spoke to several solicitors today he only owns average 3 bed detached house and has 150k in savings but is retired so he needed this to live on ....he will have to give up his savings or sell his house ....more fool him for being so nieve unfortunately. I'm gutted for him
Re: Please help !!!! Short marriage divorce with a bipolar!!!
HatMan - 06 November, 2017 02:55PM
Seriously I do not understand where this is coming from, any decent solicitor will see this claim off quite easily.

Your 'friend' needs better advice.
Re: Please help !!!! Short marriage divorce with a bipolar!!!
Boomouse - 06 November, 2017 03:10PM
Thankyou Hatman, we spoke to a few today as stated , but I'm hoping your right and there is a decent one out there to sort this mess out, tbh I came away with I'm glad it's not my situation ! Phew
Re: Please help !!!! Short marriage divorce with a bipolar!!!
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