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History: Home UK Divorce Forum
Being left to deal with everything (2 Posts)
Started By:
25 September, 2017 03:26PM
Being left to deal with everything
Skye - 25 September, 2017 03:26PM

I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice.

I have been separated from my husband for over two years. A couple of weeks I received divorce papers, which I am more than happy to sign. But feel like I have been left with everything to deal with both financially and the children on a full time basis.

We do have a verbal arrangement for the child access in place but he often changes it to suit whatever he may have on. Also he was meant to have the children for at least a week extra over the summer holidays which never happened. The arrangement we have at the moment is every other weekend Friday school pick up to Sunday at 5pm and then every Wednesday, pick up from school drop back to me at 6.30pm. Today I received a text to say he couldn't pick the children up on Wednesday when I said I had work commitments the reply was that he is not picking them up and that was final.

The child maintenance he gives me is nowhere near enough. He is self employed and barely declares all his earnings so when the CSA got involved the payments went down to £50 per week which he is more than happy to pay, I have two very young children, 5 & 3. I receive no extra money for school uniforms, shoes, and after schhol activities or recently I had to renew my sons passport which he was not willing to pay half with me. As soon as he moved out of our rented house he stopped paying anything towards the rent or utility bills.

I do not know much about law but I feel like ever since we have been apart he has been able to do exactly what he likes, surely this isn't right? Legal Aide isn't offered in these circumstances so if I was to pursue anything its going to cost money, which I can not afford, when I am not sure if I would get any benefit from either.

If anyone could offer me any advice I would be so grateful....
Re: Being left to deal with everything
jill_of_all_trades - 29 September, 2017 08:39AM
This is not legal advice but I recognise the "life revolves around me and all of you will adapt to my latest whim" mentality. He is not reliable. Therefore you need a back up plan for Wednesdays and the weekends he is supposed to have the children if you want to organise something they cannot join in with.

If you have a job which can accommodate flexitime speak to your boss about working hours that always allow you Wednesday afternoon off - you get time to yourself if he does take the children or swallow your pride with one of your children's friends' parents. They take the children at short notice if need be and you repay them with some weekend babysitting so they can have a night out. If you have family in the area they are your go-to emergency people.
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