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History: Home UK Divorce Forum
Topic:
6 months separated (10 Posts)
Started By:
Date:
19 September, 2017 09:23PM
6 months separated
motorhome - 19 September, 2017 09:23PM
Hello All,

Nutshell: After 15 years (8 married) and 3 children, we are now 6 months separated after the financial instability of my self-employment was to stressful for my wife to bear which led to tremendous animosity towards me and I've had to leave the family home (co-owned) as she has fallen out of love with me. My wife lives in the home with our children as I wouldn't have that any other way for my childrens sake. During the move to self employemnt we were aided by Familiy Tax Credits and Working Tax credits which in addition to child benefit paid all our bills leaving us to concentrate on building the business with the view of getting away from our reliance on benefits completely.

However, since we never got that far down the road and I've now left the family home. I have been living in the family owned motorhome on a friends land. As the business is still quite young, my income is less than sufficient and I'm currently seeking additional employment to move into my own rented accommodation.

My wife, who is still in receipt of the benefits mentioned above, is now better off financially than when I lived there due to single parent discounts and increase in benefits. She has since changed the locks on the house and is threating to dump all my belongings at my place of work and is very hostile towards me.

I am yet to seek legal advice although I believe she must furnish me with a key to the new locks so that I may gain entry and I'm wondering as this is still half my house if I'm allowed to keep my belongings there. (I live in a motorhome and can't store anything).

I do not currently pay any child maintenance but instead go halves on items my children need such as school uniforms, after-school activities, haircuts. I also perform 1/2 of all school runs, have them for dinner once a week, every Sunday and sleepover in motorhome every other saturday.

Any advice on my situation and my rights as a Dad would be much appreciated.
Re: 6 months separated
davidterry - 20 September, 2017 02:47PM
Since the marriage is obviously over it would probably be sensible for you to seek a divorce sooner rather than later. You can then sort out everything formally and finally so you can move on with your life. That is likely to be more constructive in the long run than arguing about keys and where you store your belongings.
Re: 6 months separated
motorhome - 20 September, 2017 06:39PM
Couldn't agree more!

I've managed to secure my first legal appointment tomorrow to find out where I stand. I will find out during this session about divorce proceedings and would like to get that ball rolling ASAP. Financially, however, it's going to be a nightmare for me as I'm looking at around 2.5k to get it done if all goes according to plan.

I guess both sides get a nasty legal bill during a divorce??
Re: 6 months separated
Andyk - 20 September, 2017 06:49PM
You only get a nasty bill if you don't agree things and one of you prolongs things. Mine cost me half an hour with a solicitor to make sure our consent order that she paid to have drawn up by her solicitor wasn't stitching me up. Her bill was higher because she buggered about changing her mind about what we had originally agreed.
Re: 6 months separated
motorhome - 22 September, 2017 11:14PM
Thanks Andyk. I'm doing my best to keep this amicable although she has just recently told me I've no legal standing to request a key to the home I co-own, according to the advice she has sought.

So, I've seen a solicitor! I've been told thus far that I should seek to sell the family home as 'it is unreasonable' for me to be expected to live in a motorhome and we should both have a proper roof over our heads. I must explain that I'm two years into starting my business and my wages are £100 a week, sometimes I get nothing. Renting privately is beyond my budget.

I've read on the 'Divorce advice for Men' thread on this site that I should expect the house to be transferred to my wife wholesale by the courts and I've no claim on any equity that may in the property.

This is contradictory to the advice I received yesterday! I was told the courts would look at our current living arrangements and spilt the assets equally.

Any thoughts gratefully appreciated.
Re: 6 months separated
Andyk - 23 September, 2017 04:34AM
Unfortunately if there are dependent children and the equity in the house is not enough to buy each of you a home then that sounds about right. A court will always look to see that the children and where they are to live are the top priority.
Re: 6 months separated
davidterry - 25 September, 2017 11:32AM
Any settlement would take into account your accommodation needs. I don't think you can reasonably be expected to live in a motorhome indefinitely. Having said that, there are three dependent child and their accommodation needs will take priority. Whether there is anything left for your needs after the needs of the children have been taken into account will very much depend upon the figures. There is no equality between your needs and those of the children though. The children come first.
Re: 6 months separated
Ragini44 - 10 October, 2017 11:48AM
I even didn't try to separate myself from my wife. Because I love her a lot. hehe!
Re: 6 months separated
Bustedlanda - 10 October, 2017 04:33PM
motorhome Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Thanks Andyk. I'm doing my best to keep this
> amicable although she has just recently told me
> I've no legal standing to request a key to the
> home I co-own, according to the advice she has
> sought.

This is true. I found this out after I decided to leave the family home.

Good luck!
Re: 6 months separated
Ragini44 - 12 October, 2017 03:33PM
Thank you so much @Bustedlanda if you need a divorce form here you can get a possible source [formsarchive.com] I need this same kind of to separate myself from my wife. I hope this might work for you. lol



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/10/2017 03:35PM by Ragini44.
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