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History: Home UK Divorce Forum
Divorcing an alcoholic (4 Posts)
Started By:
04 September, 2017 01:38PM
Divorcing an alcoholic
Helen53 - 04 September, 2017 01:38PM

I was wondering if anyone had any advice for me, I've been married to a heavy drinker/ alcoholic for 31 years, I finally left the home two months ago, after another outburst of abuse from him, I had left him before two years and instigated divorce proceedings which I consequently put on hold as long as I could live in the house without him being abusive or drunk, neither did he adhere to.

The final catalyst was one night he messaged our daughter on the Thursday, (she was getting married on the Saturday) said that he would not be going, and basically it was my fault as I'd turned the kids against him, he'd never been any kind of father to them anyway, I went home and asked him what the problem was and proceeded to get a torrent of abuse one of many that I've had,to which I left the house and consequently haven't been back there since,only to pick mail up when I know my husband won't be there, the divorce is now reactivated

I'm living in a rented room as I don't feel safe enough to live in the house, while he lives there alone, my solicitor has said leave him there?? I don't understand that but think she may have reasons for leaving him where he is, my question is, he is not managing to pay the bills as the bank are starting to write letters to him.

Can anyone advise me on what direction to move in here, I don't wish to see him on the street, hence I took the room, he doesn't cope with many things but I need to know the bills are being paid and I cant afford to pay them and for the room i'm living in.

Sorry it's so long winded, this is just a little of what has happened.

Re: Divorcing an alcoholic
Dennis A - 12 September, 2017 06:14PM
On the subject of bills and debt etc you could start a few practical measures if you haven't already done so. If you have a joint bank account consider taking action to try and prevent overdrafts etc acruing against you. Are you still liable for any utilities etc at the home your husband lives in?
Re: Divorcing an alcoholic
Ragini44 - 10 October, 2017 11:52AM
Thanks for your good suggestion OP. I am totally agree with you here. lol
Re: Divorcing an alcoholic
davidterry - 10 October, 2017 02:07PM
>>I don't wish to see him on the street, hence I took the room,

I would quiz your solicitor about that advice if I was you. This is a long marriage and the family home is as much yours as your husband's. You are not responsible for his drinking. He is. This situation needs to be resolved in a way which is fair to both of you. It is not only about your husband. If you do not tackle this then very likely he will eventually end up on the street anyway after not paying the mortgage, bills etc. The consequence of that will only be that the train wreck lasts much longer and you will both come out of it financially much worse off than if you tackled the problem now.
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