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What can I expect? (10 Posts)
Started By:
08 August, 2017 08:37AM
What can I expect?
Hollie0106 - 08 August, 2017 08:37AM

My ex and I have mostly done the divorce ourselves and have reached the Nisi stage, this was issued last week. We have reached a stalemate in the financial settlement though and I don't know what is right and proper so wanted some advice. We have three children (10, 7 and 5) and were married 12 years. she is a stay at home mum and doesn't earn and I work and earn in the region of £60k. My rent is £350 as my folks are my landlord.

I have always paid the mortgage and kept my money and her money separate.

The house has about £40k equity in it, but will need some work to achieve this. We have been separated for 3 years now, for the first couple of years I paid £350 pcm for a car that she kept, but 18 months or so ago I took this back and she had to fund her own car. I paid the mortgage (£300) and gave her £100 maintenance for the kids. Recently (6 months or so) I started paying £700pcm but she now has to pay the mortgage from that.

We had previously agreed that we would split the equity 50/50 and I'd pay £700pcm, but the CSA calc suggests I only need to pay £570 (my new partner has 2 kids at home, and I'll be moving in soon). She will be moving in and marrying her new partner soon too, so that is a factor. When I suggested that I reduce the maintenance to £570 she said she wanted more of the equity. Does this seem fair?

If this goes to court or mediation, in reality what would I be looking at getting in terms of split?
Re: What can I expect?
Bubblegum - 08 August, 2017 09:53AM
So are you agreed that the house will be sold? The CSA money is seperate and does not form part of your settlement. If I were in your wife's position I would want more than 50%. Her needs are greater than yours. You have a good income she does not and she also has the housing needs for four opposed to one. You also need to consider the value of any pensions either of you have.
Re: What can I expect?
Hollie0106 - 08 August, 2017 11:42AM
"Her needs are greater than yours." I agree, but what happens when she moves in with her new fella? She'd have the equity and will be looked after by him.
Re: What can I expect?
Bubblegum - 08 August, 2017 02:01PM
If like you say they are going to move in together and plan to marry, then a court would take this into consideration. But how much weight it is given would be at the court's discretion and impossible to guess. Do you know the new partners financial position i.e. How much he earns and his debts and assets? Can he afford to take on the financial burden of a wife and three kids or are they relying on her settlement to help meet their needs as a family?
Re: What can I expect?
Hollie0106 - 08 August, 2017 02:27PM
I've no idea what he earns. He has his own child but I don't know if they will be relying on any settlement to make ends meet.
Re: What can I expect?
Bubblegum - 08 August, 2017 04:09PM
Well I think there are a lot of 'what ifs' and assumptions being made without any clear evidence of your wife's increased financial resources linked to a partner she is not even cohabiting with yet.

I would be interested to hear what others think would be fair, but in my personal opinion based on the three young children she has to house and the disparity in incomes, I don't think 50:50 would be fair.
Re: What can I expect?
Hollie0106 - 09 August, 2017 07:07AM
Thanks for your help - I'd appreciate any more input if others have any thoughts.
Re: What can I expect?
davidterry - 11 August, 2017 01:58PM
You have a non working wife who has the care of three young dependent children and you earn in the region of £60K. There is very limited equity. I very much doubt that it would be fair to divide it equally. Your wife has much greater need than you and fewer resources.
Re: What can I expect?
Hollie0106 - 11 August, 2017 02:00PM
Yes, I can see that, and thanks for the nudge. In reality, I'd rather not go through the courts, so realistically how's this likely to be divided up?
Re: What can I expect?
davidterry - 11 August, 2017 04:56PM
>>realistically how's this likely to be divided up?

That rather depends upon what your wife wants the money for. It is for the person who wants more than half to justify. She almost certainly can justify it but you can make a start by asking her what she needs and why.
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