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History: Home UK Divorce Forum
Topic:
How can this be true (13 Posts)
Started By:
Date:
05 August, 2017 05:18PM
How can this be true
Stresshead - 05 August, 2017 05:18PM
I need some advice. I was with my husband for 1 year when we brought a house together. He had nothing but debts which was added to the initial mortgage. I sold my home and paid over £120,000 deposit the proceeds from my previous home. We had a deed of trust completed saying I would get this back if the relationship broke down. We got married and now after 10 years he had an affair. I cannot live with him I cannot forgive. I have suggested we sell the house and he give me back my money and anything above that we split 50/50. We both have good jobs good pensions we have decided to leave these alone. However on splitting the proceeds I've been told that from 200000 taking away 120000 less outstanding mortgage 50000 left 25000 each this is not a fair split !!!! Can this be true?
Re: How can this be true
Stresshead - 05 August, 2017 05:29PM
I'm new how can I see views/advice please
Re: How can this be true
Andyk - 05 August, 2017 07:47PM
This is a long marriage so the starting point for any split will be 50/50, it is up to each of your to argue why you feel that you need more than 50%. If you are the sole carer for children for example you would generally be able to argue for more.
Re: How can this be true
Stresshead - 05 August, 2017 11:42PM
Does the deed trust not apply ? I used my money as deposit regardless. How is that fair to me? My husband had the affair .



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/08/2017 11:44PM by Stresshead.
Re: How can this be true
Bubblegum - 06 August, 2017 12:20AM
The affair is irrelevant to the financial split. Is your ex agreeable to the proposed split?
Meeting each party's needs would the first priority of the Courts.
Re: How can this be true
Andyk - 06 August, 2017 04:50AM
I believe a deed of trust is only binding where two people are not married. Marriage is a partnership and a 10 year marriage is a long one and the starting point in a long marriage is 50/50 and any deviation from that is based on need. You can't argue that you get more because he doesn't bring in enough money or all the savings came from your earnings, because you were happy for that to happen throughout the marriage.

As Bubblegum has said, the fact that he had the affair is irrelevant as the divorce and the financial split are two separate things.
Re: How can this be true
Stresshead - 06 August, 2017 08:10AM
My husband is agreeable to the split. It's the working out of the financial aspect of the house. I need to get back what I put in. He also owes me 13000 which ha wants to pay so I have agreed £25000 cash and he does not pay me the loan. Does this sound fair?
Re: How can this be true
davidterry - 06 August, 2017 08:17AM
>>My husband is agreeable to the split. It's the working out of the financial aspect of the house. I need to get back what I put in. He also owes me 13000 which ha wants to pay so I have agreed £25000 cash and he does not pay me the loan. Does this sound fair?

It is not fair, no, and I think your husband should take legal advice before he agrees to terms like this because they are very unfair to him. Marriage is not an accounting exercise. Who puts money in does not get it back penny for penny. It may be reasonable for there to be some recognition of the fact that you put in £120,000 but the notion that after a 10 year marriage that should be preserved and returned to you at all costs before anything else is plain wrong. Marriage is regarded as partnership and different spouses contribute in different ways (or not). The fact is, though, that contributions are not usually decisive.
Re: How can this be true
Stresshead - 06 August, 2017 08:38AM
Thanks for that response. I do not want to be unfair .We have looked again and have agreed in principle 25% to my husband 75% to me. Due to the fact I put in all the deposit .He will also pay me what he owes 13000 what do you think?
Re: How can this be true
Bubblegum - 06 August, 2017 08:43AM
I had a deed of assignment and it had no influence on how the money was split because 'needs' and 'sharing' principles were the primary factors. If he has had independent legal advice and this is done by consent then you may be ok.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/08/2017 08:45AM by Bubblegum.
Re: How can this be true
davidterry - 06 August, 2017 09:42AM
>>Thanks for that response. I do not want to be unfair .We have looked again and have agreed in principle 25% to my husband 75% to me. Due to the fact I put in all the deposit .He will also pay me what he owes 13000 what do you think?

Like I said, I think it is grossly unfair to your husband. If I were a District Judge I would refuse to approve terms of settlement as one sided as this. That is not to say that some District Judge might not approve such terms but at the very least I would expect a court to insist that your husband take legal advice.
Re: How can this be true
Stresshead - 06 August, 2017 10:41AM
Thanks. That is what we are doing he has a solicitor so that we can be fair to each other. They have told us to negotiate which is where we are. We think 25 to him 75 to me is fair ?
Re: How can this be true
Bubblegum - 06 August, 2017 10:56AM
Like Mr Terry has said, it's not fair and a Judge won't view it as fair. So the DJ will need to be satisfied that your husband understands exactly what he is agreeing to and that there is no duress. If the DJ is not satisfied he may not approve the consent order. You'll probably have to attend a short hearing.
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