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History: Home UK Divorce Forum
Please help me (14 Posts)
Started By:
21 July, 2017 09:49AM
Please help me
Mandy98 - 21 July, 2017 09:49AM
Hi There,
First time at this , its husband second. He wants me to leave with 20k .
History:19 years together, married 6 years 12 years in house and I have paid half of everything inc mortgage for 12 years in his house. and 6 year in another rented house. He wants me to leave with 20k and that's it, he doesn't want to use solicitors etc said its too expensive.
He has been internet dating and generally nasty so I've had enough. No kids involved.
Please help me.

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 21/07/2017 11:23AM by Mandy98.
Re: Please help me
davidterry - 21 July, 2017 11:21AM
Well, whether you can reasonably expect £20K or £200K very much depends upon the details of your respective financial circumstances - how much capital there is, how much in pensions and how much in incomes. It will also depend on factors like need but the basic figures are what tell you what is potentially available for division.
Re: Please help me
Mandy98 - 21 July, 2017 01:00PM
He had the house before I came but I have paid about £100,000 since living there, he has large pensions, savings, ISA stocks& shares, cars and house worth about 400k.
Re: Please help me
davidterry - 21 July, 2017 04:45PM
On these figures the cost of a solicitor will justify itself. What he is proposing is derisory.
Re: Please help me
Bubblegum - 21 July, 2017 05:21PM
He doesn't want you to use a solicitor because you might actually get more that £20k. He is not acting in your best interests and will probably try and pressure you to accept his offer without independent advice. Gather as much information as you can about the family finances and go and see a good lawyer - may be one on recommendation and resolution.
Re: Please help me
Mandy98 - 21 July, 2017 08:03PM
Thank you so much for your advice. I have been yo s solicitor today and he is not happy.He said he got advice and it will cost me15k out of the 20k I'm getting. He said £400 online And to give him a figure he is shouting it btw. I said my solicitor will not me and I'm not talking about it. He said we have to go to mediator not solicitors am I thick etc. He is really getting mad and bullying me for a figure.
I am right I know but it's hard when you are getting shouted at.
I'm going to leave house and get somewhere to rent or share. Another question please ,what can I take we have 2 of a lot of things as I buy second hand furniture and paint it
Thank you again
Re: Please help me
Bubblegum - 21 July, 2017 08:30PM
I'm not suggesting that this is the case, but it would be worth you having a look at the current definition of domestic abuse. There may be more options for you if this is the case...


I would get advice from a solicitor before deciding to move out of the family home. Your husband sounds very controlling and living under the same roof can't be easy. Try not to engage in arguments and don't get drawn into what he wants you to do. Keep a clear head and focus on what you need.

BTW... he is talking rubbish when he says it will cost you £15k out of the £20k for legal help because who's to say you will only get the £20k. You may well get a whole lot more, in which case spending on lawyers would be well worth the money. IMO he sounds like a bit of a bully!
Re: Please help me
Mandy98 - 22 July, 2017 05:46PM
Thank you again and yes a bully is correct . I told him about having seen a solicitor and he called names. He told me to get ready for hell cos that's were I'm going and he promised a nasty divorce. I'm moving out by Friday I hope and not telling where I'm going. Thank you so much for your advice. Mandy

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 22/07/2017 07:24PM by Mandy98.
Re: Please help me
Bubblegum - 22 July, 2017 11:13PM
You could always give www.rightsofwomen.org.uk a call on their helpline. Is it worth considering a prohibited steps order or occupation order?
Re: Please help me
HatMan - 23 July, 2017 08:09AM
It's already a nasty divorce if he is only offering £20K! - He needs a very big wake up call ( and will undoubtedly get one as soon as he speaks to a solicitor - actually I wouldn't be surprised if he already has and his ludicrous offer is an attempt to avoid the realityof the situation)

Good luck.
Re: Please help me
Bubblegum - 23 July, 2017 12:04PM
Oh, if your name is not on the deeds - please make sure you register your matromonial home rights on the home. It's fairly straight forward to do and will give you some protection. Speak to your solicitor about it.
Re: Please help me
Mandy98 - 23 July, 2017 07:20PM
Thank you, my name is not on the deeds . My solicitor said I can move out for peace and escape the bullying and solicitor said it will not affect my claim on house is that correct?
Should I still get a home right order? Thank you all again.
Re: Please help me
Bubblegum - 23 July, 2017 08:00PM
I would say yes!
I'm surprised your solicitor did not explain this all to you.

When you move out, your husband could sell or remortgage the house and take out significant funds. During divorce spouses find very creative ways of hiding money or even become so bitter that they would rather blow the lot on holidays and extravagance than let their ex get their fair share. Whilst there are laws about dissipation of assets to protect you, once the money is spent, it's simply not there to share. The divorce just gets a whole lot more complicated and messy. You have a right to protect your interest in the family home by registering matrimonial home rights. This is a type of charge placed by the land registry which will show up if your husband attempts to sell or remortgage the house. So this should prevent him doing so.

Here is some further reading because I'm not great at explaining stuff...

[rightsofwomen.org.uk] home rights?

(Mr Terry - I hope it's OK to post links to non-profit/charity sites?)
Re: Please help me
davidterry - 24 July, 2017 05:44PM
>>(Mr Terry - I hope it's OK to post links to non-profit/charity sites?)

As long as they are not spell casters ..... smiling smiley
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