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History: Home UK Divorce Forum
Help needed to understand process (6 Posts)
Started By:
12 July, 2017 07:21AM
Help needed to understand process
pipster - 12 July, 2017 07:21AM
Hi, and thank you for any replies I may recieve.

As concisely as I can, the following has happened.

My abusive husband of twenty some years has been committing adultery. Cue arguments. I went to stay with my sister for two weeks, during which time he ended our joint council tenancy without telling me, leaving me homeless, even though we were communicating and I actually returned for a few days. I went back to the marital home and managed to take some personal belongings. He gave away the majority of our furniture. A letter was left open on the windowsill that showed he had transferred some 20k from our joint account to an account in his own name.

Now, a couple of weeks later, he has submitted a petition of unreasonable behaviour against me.

My questions:

Should I submit my own petition for the adultery (since he has been introducing this woman to the rest of our family, including our adult children)?

How do I ensure that he discloses what has happened to the money, much of which was my wages paid into our joint account?

Atm I am very scared and unsure. I have never been through a divorce before.
Re: Help needed to understand process
Bubblegum - 12 July, 2017 10:15PM
Is there any money left in the joint account? If so, you should take immediate action to protect it. Your options are to either remove the remaining money yourself, or have the joint account frozen/ put into dispute by the bank.
Re: Help needed to understand process
pipster - 13 July, 2017 05:44AM
Thank you for replying.

Unfortunately there's nothing - he took it all. Seems as if he spent two or three months transferring it without my knowledge, before I even found out about the adultery.

There are no other marital assets.
Re: Help needed to understand process
Bubblegum - 13 July, 2017 06:12AM
Have you spoken to the Council about the joint tenancy? Did you want to take it over? I would advise them if you do and also tell them that divorce proceedings have been started. I'm not sure what your rights are but it does seem unfair that he could do this without you knowing - surely you have home rights?

I would also contact Shelter, they may be able to advise you on your rights.

Also stop paying wages into the joint account. Speak with your bank to make sure that the account can not go overdrawn without consent of both account holders.

It's probably not worth starting your own petition. But you don't have to agree with the allegations made and you should not agree to pay costs.
Re: Help needed to understand process
pipster - 13 July, 2017 06:06PM
Thank you again.

It's too late to talk to the council. Someone else is already living there, and I have been forced to live long-term with my sister, which isn't the best as she is unwell with a disabled adult daughter. I only found out about what he had done because he told one of my children. The council's own rules say that both parties must be present to end the tenancy, so I don't know how he did it (unless, as I strongly suspect, he took the other woman in and had her pretend to be me).

My wages are going into an account in my name now, but those monies he's taken were our life savings together. He hasn't worked for most of the time we were together.

Thank you for your advice. I've been looking into it, and thanks to the internet, and a lot of threads on here, I have a fair idea now of what to do. I'm going to see a solicitor tomorrow, and I have several questions for them. I'll ask them if it's worth pursuing the adultery, or if they can arrange that the allegations don't go against me, and he can't use them.

Regarding the money, I shall get statements from our joint account showing when he's transferred the funds out, and I expect that my counsel will be able to demand answers from him, and that in the end it will be distributed fairly.

At least, I hope so. sad smiley
Re: Help needed to understand process
Bubblegum - 13 July, 2017 06:54PM
I'm glad you are going to see a solicitor. Make sure you use your time wisely and ask all the right questions.
I still think you should speak to the council and also shelter. What he has done in regards of the joint tenancy sounds very wrong. I don't know anything about joint tenancies but surely there has been some foul play here. You need to raise this and collect all the evidence. Ask you solicitor if there is anything you can do as you have been made homeless as a result of your husbands actions. The council could also be at fault for not seeking your agreement.

Read up on divorce and do your research. Being prepared and having some basic knowledge will help you so much!
(Oh and having a good lawyer really helps too winking smiley )

Best of luck!
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