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History: Home UK Divorce Forum
Rough idea of how this will end? (13 Posts)
Started By:
30 May, 2017 09:07PM
Rough idea of how this will end?
2dogs. - 30 May, 2017 09:07PM
Hello, than you for adding me to the forum.
I am in desperate need of some opinions here
After 17 years married and 10 Cohab my husband wants us to split. 3 teenaged children. All want to live with me and stay in family home. We have 4 bed house. Still £70k mortgage. Worth £220k. No significant assets just cars and small savings.
My worry is, I work full time £28 k. Have final salary pension 14yrs pot. I can take over current mortgage and survive though skint. Problem is OH has no job and will not look for one. He is not a stay home dad. Just got made redundant and gave up trying. No pension to speak of. He refuses to look for a job so he can rent. His only solution to enable the split is to sell up and split equity or me to buy him out. My job is insecure and I don't want to take this risk until I know more from my employers.
How is financial settlement likely to work here and what will happen if he continues to refuse to look for a job?
I am also wondering if there are advantages to him by not having a job?
Any ideas please?

Than you in advance
Re: Rough idea of how this will end?
HatMan - 31 May, 2017 03:30PM
How old exactly are the children? - there is a world of difference between thirteen and nineteen...
Re: Rough idea of how this will end?
2dogs. - 31 May, 2017 05:24PM
13,14 and 16.
Re: Rough idea of how this will end?
HatMan - 31 May, 2017 06:20PM
In that case there will be a very strong case for a split of assets in your favour, the needs of the children will be of primary concern...and the fact that he doesn't want to work are somewhat irrelevant.
Re: Rough idea of how this will end?
2dogs. - 31 May, 2017 07:07PM
That's reassuring. Thank you.
If I am not in a position to buy him out just now, are there other options if he isn't working and won't rent?
Or if I do risk remortgaging what percentage split would be reasonable. He's asking for half of everything plus a third of my pension?
Re: Rough idea of how this will end?
puma931 - 01 June, 2017 02:05PM
The key thing is what will happen to the children. They may say they want to live with you, but what does your partner want?
He might ask for shared 50/50 care of the children, so he too will need a house for himself and the children....

If it is agreed you are the main carer and have the children for say 10/11/12 nights out of 14 then I can understand why you should get most of the equity, but you would have to balance that with giving up your pension and transferring it to your partner. So overall, the split is somewhere near 50/50of the "Pot".

I would get the house valued based on an expected sale price not marketing price and work out the equity after deducting estate agent and solicitor fees etc. Then obtain cash equivalent transfer values for your pensions. Add to this any savings and deduct any loans. This becomes the "Pot" which you need to look at how best to divide.

Your partner will no doubt claim he cannot obtain work at a similar level. His current employment position is not good for you at all, as he is effectively dependant on you!

I hope you can resolve things without going to court as this is a really pain and can be costly.
Re: Rough idea of how this will end?
2dogs. - 01 June, 2017 06:19PM
Thanks Puma.
So if the pension is shared on retirement ( because there is simply not enough money to share it's worth now) what split would I need to consider then? Surely me and the children shouldn't have to settle for less than we need just because their dad chooses not to earn his own living.
If the split of assets is 50:50 and I need to buy him out then he gets to leave with enough to buy a small house leaving me with a huge mortgage to keep our children in the family home. Can this be right?
Re: Rough idea of how this will end?
HatMan - 01 June, 2017 08:17PM
Absolutely not, he can and should work - there isn't a judge in the land that would say that his non working status should be allowed tp continue, you will get a major share of the split on the assumption that you are main care provider for the children...this will happen.
Re: Rough idea of how this will end?
Bubblegum - 01 June, 2017 08:41PM
It's hard to say without knowing each of your ages and what his profession/ trade/ earning capacity is?
On the basis of what you have said. Housing for you and the children is the primary focus. Assuming you are not overhoused and can meet the costs of living in your current home, you may want to consider looking into some sort of mesher order where the FMH is split once the children are all grown up. You might want to aim for a greater share and give him a small cash lump sum to allow him to rent for the next say 12 months whilst he re-establishes himself and finds employment. I would have thought that if there is no real reason for him to be financially dependant i.e. Childcare or health, then the Courts would consider what his earning potential is when deciding how to split and they would have the expectation for him to work.

It's hard to comment on the pension as I don't know each of your ages or what the CETV is. In my case I had a modest final salary pension and my ex did not have one and chose not to work for a few years after losing his job. He wanted a share of mine. My barrister said that my ex could find employment earn a significantly higher salary than me if he wished. He had 20 years of is working life ahead of him to build up a reasonable pension pot. So was not of the view that it should be shared.
Re: Rough idea of how this will end?
2dogs. - 01 June, 2017 08:54PM
Thank you all . This is all very interesting but at the same time confusing. All very new to me yet .
We are both mid forties. If he wished he could get back into his career at slightly less than similar salary to me and earn his own pension for next 20 years. He has no intention though.
I would be interested to know your views on house equity split if I try to raise funds to keep the family home and free up some cash for him to start up again?
Re: Rough idea of how this will end?
Bubblegum - 01 June, 2017 09:22PM
So let's say he is capable of earning £25k and building up a pension over the next 20 years. You are the primary carer for around the next 6 years. You will get a measly flat rate for CM from his job seekers benefits if he doesn't work. So you have the financial and care responsibility for the children. You clearly have greater needs. His needs could be met within his potential income by renting. I would probably aim for a mesher order and aim for a slightly greater split than 50:50. It's best to consult a solicitor to get a clear idea of what would be considered a fair split. You really need to focus on what you need. In say 6 years time, will around 60% split in your favour be enough to rehouse you? Will the 40% to him be enough for him to buy? It will all come down to needs. His lack of earning might have a short term impact, but a court would consider what he is capable of earning when deciding how to split the pot.
Re: Rough idea of how this will end?
puma931 - 02 June, 2017 09:18AM
There are so many variables in all this, and assuming the children will live with the mother may not be correct.

The starting point is to get everything valued including pensions (obtain cash equivalent transfer values - you will be surprised how much they are worth!!). The split of the pot should be around 50/50, but you might opt for the equity in exchange for giving up some/most/all of your pensions depending on the value. As mention above the other option is to split the equity in the house when your youngest is 18/out of secondary education.

Personally I will get everything valued, so you know the size of the pot. Start gathering evidence of jobs adverts your partner could do so you can demonstrate potential earnings (plus support this with previous earning level). Finally, talk to your partner about who will look after the children. as he might want 50/50, so his needs for a house etc. will be as strong as yours, or stronger in the short-term as he is currently out of work.

Have you both been to mediation? This is the best starting point to talk about access and finances (once you have all the values for the pot) etc. Try and agree something that is fair to both of you and the children.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/06/2017 09:44AM by puma931.
Re: Rough idea of how this will end?
2dogs. - 02 June, 2017 11:12AM
Thanks for your responses. I am beginning to see how this can pan out.
My OH says he wants to avoid mediation and hefty legal fees hence my initial questions here to give me a start before I pay for some further advice.
Maybe I am wrong to assume that as teenagers my children are capable of making up their own minds about where they would prefer to mainly live. They have expressed their wishes to both of us and know they could freely spend time with dad on weekends. I am more concerned with what they want than either of us.

Just out of interest if I did look into getting a Mesher, what kind of ball park costs would I be looking at do you think?
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