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History: Home UK Divorce Forum
Topic:
Sabotages every step of the way (1 Post)
Started By:
Date:
15 May, 2017 06:17AM
Sabotages every step of the way
Sheila11 - 15 May, 2017 06:17AM
My ex was the petitioner who left me and our 7 year old (now 10 yrs old) in the family home in 2013. The mortgage was in his name and although has always been late he kept paying until 12 months ago. Now the house is under repossession proceedings.

In 2015 my solicitor advised me to sign for decree absolute. I had already put a restriction on the FH under the Family homes Act and the solicitor knew that I intended to keep the house for myself and our child. There are two other assets that belong to my ex and I have an interest in them too, as we lived there as a family over the years. My solicitor convinced me to sign for the decree nisi, assuring me that the finances can be dealt with later without any difference and that I would incur more costs if I didn’t sign. When decree absolute was pronounced, my solicitor advised me that, now we are divorced, the restriction of the house can be lifted at any time by my ex and he could sell the house (which is what he wanted all along). I complained, as I felt that I had been given the wrong advice. The solicitor then re-instated the restriction on the house through applying to the court (she did this for free as a means of saying “sorry”) and then I had to also put a restriction on the other properties. That would automatically start court proceedings. My ex had been abusive both physically and emotionally - knowing him I was now certain that he would also be financially abusive and as self-absorbed if not worse. I knew and was right that he would do anything to stop me from progressing. I put a formal complain through to the solicitors, but they threatened me that it was going to take me nowhere and I would lose a lot of money if I tried to pursue the matter any further. The solicitor then asked me to move on to a different solicitor because the relationship had broken down.

Was I tricked into signing the divorce decree in 2015? Did that give my ex the chance to mess up undisturbed? Two years down the line and he has been stalling absolutely every step of the way in settling the finances. Money has been really tight for me as I work part-time and looking after the child 24/7. Ex has been seeing the child irregularly and whenever it suits him. He has also got into more debts and his disclosure at FDA said he earns £10,000 which is hard to believe, as he had a company (which he closed down and re-opened under different names, then closed down again and changed accountants..), working freely anywhere he choses without any obligations as a parent and also receiving rental income from the other two properties. I don’t believe the way he is presenting himself as poor, he also goes abroad to work and I am convinced that he is hiding income while making it very difficult for me by stopping mortgage payments in the last year. I had supported the family throughout the marriage (2006 cohabited since 2004).

We are now at FDR stage and the family home nearly got repossessed last week. At the repossession hearing the judge decided to adjourn for another 28 days to see what happens at FDR. The ex never turned up at the hearing, saying they are ill and they have also gone abroad to work.?? I am fighting to prevent the repossession because me and my child will end up having nowhere to go and it will be financially impossible as rents are very expensive around here, close to the school. I feel that time is limited and I need to find what to do and act wisely as soon as possible. I don’t want to be driven out of the home, this has not been my choice and I feel that myself and my child are let down.

The ex has been refusing to sell any other assets, and never made any contributions to his child up to date! While he was paying the mortgage i though was sufficient for now. I felt I would not get much if I claimed child maintenance because he is self -employed and hides income. Now he has stopped mortgage payments and drives us out of the house, I believe he is forcing the sale so that I have no option.

My income has decreased in this year quite considerably, and although I was initially offered £50,000 as a maximum mortgage raising capacity based from my previous year’s income, now this may not be valid?? (I was asked for raising mortgage capacity in the court order). I have been paying all the bills of the house (including council tax and now house insurance) and keeping my child’s life with as much normality and consistency as I can. I have started a small home business since last November in order to look after the child in the evenings and keep a good routine. I also need the extra space (3rd bedroom) that my ex is so adamant that we should not have (says that the house is too big - In fact the 3rd bedroom is just a box room and it would cost just as much to move into a similar property of 2 bedrooms).

At the repossession hearing my ex sent his accountant to represent him. He asked to talk to me after the hearing and we had a chat outside. He told me that my ex is completely broke now and he really wants to settle. He also said that he will try to convince his client to sell another asset and pay off the mortgage of the family home, but he is not sure if he would then transfer the home into my name. This is of course a problem, as I want the house as settlement or part of it. It looks like the other assets are enough for this.

I am not greedy, but I consider it fair to be keeping the family home for my child mortgage free and to maintain stability and security for the child. Her father is not regular with his contact (most often he is here and there and everywhere, totally disorganised and up and down - apparently depressed as well) and he is not giving at all a sense of stability for his child.

Any advice for next week’s FDR would be most welcome. I think my barrister is good. But I am running out of money which I have borrowed and also worried that my ex will keep sabotaging the process to bide time and force the sale of the house and destabilise me further. It makes no sense how he seems to not understand that this is also making his child very unhappy and potentially homeless.
Thank you.
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