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History: Home UK Divorce Forum
Anyone drafted their own unreasonable behaviour grounds? (3 Posts)
Started By:
09 March, 2017 06:49AM
Anyone drafted their own unreasonable behaviour grounds?
Nic73 - 09 March, 2017 06:49AM

I've decided to divorce my husband of 15 years on the basis of his unreasonable behaviour. I've got a legal background although not in family law, and I'm struggling financially. Therefore, I'm hoping to get through the divorce stage without legal representation but I accept that I might need to instruct a solicitor to handle the financial side of things.

I have been reading advice about how much to include in the grounds in order to establish that the marriage has irretrievably broken down, but not so much that I completely destroy any hope we have of being civil for the sake of our children (aged 5 and 8). By the way we are separated but in the same house. It's a nightmare. He's refusing to leave (this is another issue for another post maybe).

Does this sound like enough, or am I throwing too much at it?

1) Inappropriate relationships with women (can't prove they were physical but lots of texting and lunch dates behind my back).
2) His failure to come to the matrimonial bedroom until the early hrs of the morning and sometimes not at all, having caused a decline in intimacy between us.
3) He is argumentative and if he doesn't think a conversation is going his way he will shut me down, walk out or try to dictate how I answer. Therefore we are seldom able to resolve issues together.

4) undermining me in front of the children both by reprimanding me when I try to discipline them and by actively rubbishing the way I care for them. Eg. While the 8 yr old was eating on a small plate, pushing half of her food onto another plate and telling me that he doesn't know how I was given food as a child, but that I should serve her properly.

5) He doesn't open or deal with his mail (it piles up). This includes demands for payment /threats of court action. Eg. This has resulted in our car being clamped, and causes me daily anxiety and to feel financially insecure.

6) At times he locks the front door knowing that I'm out. I have to ring to be let in. One evening he didn't open when I rang and didn't contact me until 5am the next day.

Phew, that's it!

Any thoughts anyone? Apart from, run!

Re: Anyone drafted their own unreasonable behaviour grounds?
Bubblegum - 09 March, 2017 09:37PM
These all sound perfectly valid reasons for unreasonable behaviour causing the irretreivable breakdown of your marriage. There are some time limits you need to be aware of when using UB.
Mr Terry has explained them here: [www.terry.co.uk]

Mine were just 5 simple bullet points. They were whoppers as far as UB goes, so I didn't feel the need to explain or justify them in any way. If you google unreasonable behaviour examples in divorce petition, you can see some wording of UB examples. From what I remember financial irresponsibility, inproper relations with other women, lack of intimacy etc. are all written in examples available online.

Continuing to live under the same roof must be so hard. Unfortunately it won't get any easier and relations will most likely become even more strained as you begin to look at finances.

Best of luck!
B xx
Re: Anyone drafted their own unreasonable behaviour grounds?
Nic73 - 12 March, 2017 11:02AM
Thanks for the advice B and for the insight into your experiences. I'll have a look at the time limits issue. It isn't getting any easier, so as you say, the sooner the better.

Nic x
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