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Divorce costs. (10 Posts)
Started By:
07 February, 2017 11:29PM
Divorce costs.
Teddy P - 07 February, 2017 11:29PM
I have petitioned for divorce and my stbx has agreed to accept his adultery as the grounds.

I just received a letter from his solicitor offering a fixed sum of £800 towards the divorce costs which I think is roughly 50% of the actual costs. I had been told by a friend who was divorced a few years ago that in cases where adultery is admitted that the respondent would be liable for the total court, petition costs. But I don't know if this is true or not.

But there are going to be battles over so many things financially I don't want to make any more issues than I need to and I am desperate to keep my solicitor fees down. So I was just wondering if anyone could advise whether or not I should just accept this offer.

Many thanks
Re: Divorce costs.
Andyk - 08 February, 2017 05:33AM
You would be better to petition him for unreasonable behaviour as you don't need his agreement for that. He says he will agree to adultery now but if he changes his mind down the line when you issue the petition you will have wasted your money.
Re: Divorce costs.
Teddy P - 08 February, 2017 08:16AM
Thanks for your reply Andy. I think the reason he has agreed to adultery is because I agreed not to name the OW ( his boss).
I think he realises that she will be named if I went for unreasonable behaviour. To be honest it doesn't really bother me either way what the grounds are or whether or not she is named. At the end of the day I just want to get divorced and him out of my life without ending up a bitter and twisted old fool. But he also knows I have photographs ( finding them on his iPad was how I discovered the affair and somehow I was savvy enough to copy these whilst my world imploded ) and sadly they are graphic enough to a/ scar me for life ! And b/ prove the adultery.

But yes I suppose the way he is now acting towards me it wouldn't surprise me if he played up about this as well. It was offered by my solicitor and I just went with it.

So basically for the sake of £800 I should probably accept his offer of half the costs and hope that he then doesn't change his mind about the grounds. I'll save the battles for the bigger things.
Re: Divorce costs.
Andyk - 08 February, 2017 09:35AM
If you have explicit photos that identifies him then that does put a different light on the Adultery grounds as he really couldn't deny that.
Re: Divorce costs.
deflateddad - 08 February, 2017 09:40AM
I petitioned for adultery, and I paid the court costs to get thing moving, rather than argue the toss about £400. As you said, save the battles for bigger things.
Re: Divorce costs.
davidterry - 08 February, 2017 10:08AM
I have two observations to make on the points below.

>>I think he realises that she will be named if I went for unreasonable behaviour.

It is not necessary that a third party should be named in a petition based on unreasonable behaviour and it is regarded as very undesirable to do so. If reprehensible conduct was attributed to that third person a divorce petition the court would direct that he/she be served with the petition and given the opportunity to respond.

>>somehow I was savvy enough to copy these whilst my world imploded )

Information obtained in this way is obtained wrongfully and a court would not allow a person to rely upon evidence which had been wrongfully obtained.
Re: Divorce costs.
Teddy P - 08 February, 2017 11:47AM
Thanks David,

As I said I have no burning desire to name her anyway. What's done is done and it is becoming increasingly clear they are welcome to each other. There is nothing to be gained from being vindictive. I also realise at the end of the day whatever the grounds are makes no difference to anything. It's just that the petition is all prepared to go off and I don't particularly want to pay more money to have it all changed.

With regards to the 'evidence' I see what you are saying. But surely a family iPad Is my property too and if he was stupid enough to leave these photographs on there why is that then wrongfully obtained ? Seems a bit crazy that I get to have to see those images ( now indelibly seared on my brain) and then not be able to use them. I still don't think he will dispute the adultery but then again I seem to have been wrong about so many things lately.
Re: Divorce costs.
davidterry - 08 February, 2017 06:30PM
Er, you referred to 'his' IPad. Now it is the 'family' IPad.

Anyway, no matter. Life goes on after divorce and you are wise to recognise that. Dwelling on the past does not help anyone and since realise that you are one step closer to rebuilding your life.
Re: Divorce costs.
Teddy P - 08 February, 2017 06:50PM
Well I guess I just got used to him over the years referring to pretty much everything as his ! We have lived together for 18 years in the same house and he always told me it was his house and my home. He is now trying to take the 'family' computer as 'he paid' for it but I am fighting this as the kids won't be able to print out their homework.

Apologies I am not meaning to argue the toss, but I was just a bit shocked that the photographs might be considered wrongfully obtained. I considered it the only thing I might have had the upper hand in.

Anyway as you say onwards and upwards and probably sideways too.
Re: Divorce costs.
davidterry - 09 February, 2017 11:46AM
>>I was just a bit shocked that the photographs might be considered wrongfully obtained.

Well, if it was his phone they would be. And it would be a bit odd for a mobile phone to be a 'family' phone. A land line might well be a family phone but typically people have their own mobile phones. Indeed, the fact that this information was contained on it tends to suggest that the information was intended for your husband only.
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