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History: Home UK Divorce Forum
A major mess (3 Posts)
Started By:
05 January, 2017 09:04PM
A major mess
bramble2017 - 05 January, 2017 09:04PM

Married to a Romanian National in 2007
We have 3 children 9, 7 and 4. We look after the children jointly

She is 34 and I am 58.
We live in a house I have owned since the 1990s.

We are now separated

I still live in the matrimonial home
I still pay the mortgage and all bills except for her car and mobile phone bills
She has started a relationship with another man.

My salary is about £80k
She has a small income from a business c £10kpa and another income that she does not disclose. I don’t know the exact amount but it is can be as much as I earn on a good month.


House value is approx. £600k
I have £39k in an ISA.
I have a £240k pre existing pension held in a SIPP
I have a £50k pension pot built up in an employment pension post marriage.


Outstanding mortgage is c £15k repayment and £40k interest only
There is a £25k overdraft on the offset mortgage account.
The mortgage has about 58 months to run.

There is about £8k of credit card debt


As she is in a relationship with another man our amicable separation is going to get unpleasant very quickly. Is there any way I can finish this mess and still have anything to live on? There isn’t enough time to rebuild a pension and the house is all I had.
Re: A major mess
puma931 - 06 January, 2017 12:32PM

I am in a similar mess to you (less equity though), and will shortly have the final court hearing on finances.
My ex lives in the FMH with our child (8yrs) and I moved out a couple of years ago. She wants to stay in the house for another 2 years (me paying the mortgage) then sell the house and receive 100% of the equity, plus a substantial spousal allowance and half of my pensions!

My barrister said it is likely the judge will award her 100% of the equity to allow her to purchase a smaller house mortgage free for her and our child. His job is then to try and make sure there is no spousal allowance (I pay child maintenance) and limit the pensions to 0 to 25%.

My ex would not enter into any discussion on finances and restricted my access to our child, so I went to court to get alternate weekend/holiday access and to resolve finances (my costs to date £40k in legal fees).

You really need to find out about your wife's second income (copy of bank statements etc), and IMO your case is about earning potential, as you are near the end of your career and she is in the middle. Get mediation sessions setup where you both disclose income, assets and liabilities and then try and work out a fair split as well as access to your children. If mediation fails they give you a form that allows you to start the court process. If you go down the court route try your best to limit communication (pointless letters) between solicitors, as they have no power to enforce anything, and they love charging you £100+ per letter.

Good luck.
Re: A major mess
davidterry - 06 January, 2017 05:37PM
>>they love charging you £100+ per letter.

It is not surprising your costs have come to £40,000. Most solicitors do not charge anything near the amount you mention.
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