This is a UK based forum about divorce and related issues. Feel free to contribute. Your experiences or opinions may help others. http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/list.php?2 Fri, 10 Sep 2010 08:35:14 +0100 Phorum 5.2.13 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2350,2350#msg-2350 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2350,2350#msg-2350 Any advise would be appreciated.]]> friend UK Divorce Forum Thu, 09 Sep 2010 15:06:43 +0100 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2344,2344#msg-2344 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2344,2344#msg-2344
I have been made redundant and my money to fight this is rapidly running out paying for countering all these allegations]]> hankham666 UK Divorce Forum Fri, 10 Sep 2010 07:14:48 +0100 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2343,2343#msg-2343 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2343,2343#msg-2343
I am hoping you will be able to give me some advice in regards to the maritial home. I seperated from my wife in Aug last year and we have had the decree nisi through. I have a solicitor however he has not been returning my calls for the past month and I am concerned about the finincial situtiation. Since moving out I have been maintianing the mortage and the bills of the house. The house is soley in my name and so is the mortage and was purchased before we got married. The marriage only lasted 1.5 years but we were together for close to 10 years all together living the house. We have a 5 year old that lives with her and her other child from a previous marriage. The house is a 4 bedroom house and I am finding it very difficult now after a year (building up a big credit card debt in my name) to maintian the payments and my own rented flat. The wife is refusing to sell the house and is claiming that as long as she can afford HALF the mortage from now on (through benefits as she is not working) I will need to keep up the payments of the mortage as long as our boy is in school. Also I am not currently paying childmaitance as what I have been paying towards the house over the past year has been much more than what she would get through CSA. She is getting more and more aggressive and is refusing any communication unless via solicitor (which is adding to my debt), and mediation was a waste of time. It seems she is playing a delaying game as its worked well for her for the past year having everything paid.
Can you please advice what I can do? as it is no longer possible for me to continue the payments of my house that I don't live in and a small flat wich im currently living in. I want to sell the house, pay off our joint debts and start paying child maintance through CSA.

Many many thanks
P.]]> paulo UK Divorce Forum Thu, 09 Sep 2010 12:56:21 +0100 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2341,2341#msg-2341 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2341,2341#msg-2341
I've always paid all the mortgage and bills, he contributed little, so he's not used to dealing with finances. We agreed to me paying him off,(£20K), with £60K equity of the house to me, with a clean break and continuing £250 a month child contribution. I plan to stay in the marital home. This was all set out in an financial agreement but he's changed his mind.

I 'm actually ok with him not paying child maintenance as I'm so glad he's gone. However, I think he should pay it until the financial agreement is formalised.

Just want to know if this is a reasonable request? If so, would welcome any ideas on the best way to present the idea to him? He's not being entirely rational at the moment, so cannot antagonise him, but do feel if I agree to no maintenance in the meantime, he's going to continue moving the goalposts and messing me about and we'll never get the finances agreed..

Thank you]]> Esther UK Divorce Forum Fri, 10 Sep 2010 08:15:16 +0100 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2339,2339#msg-2339 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2339,2339#msg-2339
I originally (if you read from the beginning of this thread) instructed proceedings against my Husband for divorce on the grounds of Unreasonable Behaviour on the 9th July 2010. My estranged Husband & I had agreed amicably & mutually to a 'Clean Break' settlement of a lump sum payable to myself at the offset. I agreed NOT to lay claim to any of several pensions that he has, to any equity of the house that is mortgage free & in his name only, nor to any of his other assetts (he has savings elsewhere that i'm not interested in)...he in turn agreed not to lay any claim to the flat that I own (with mortgage, although I have around 60% equity in the property), nor to the small amount of savings that I have tied up in an Investment ISA-(we will both have to sign Disclaimers to this effect along with the Consent Order/Clean Break Agreement). This Financial Agreement has already been dafted up by my Solicitor & will be signed (hopefully!) in between Nisi & Absolute, which, incidentally, I have instructed my Solicitor to apply for as soon as the Nisi is pronounced (again you can do this to save time). We have been married (to date) for just 14 months.

I have today been advised that my Decree Nisi will be pronounced on the 28th of this month &, as the Financial Agreement has already been drafted ready for signature from us both between Nisi & Absolute, I should be divorced by 13th October-just 3 months & 1 week from start to finish

I would like to thank David Terry &, essentially, for his brilliant Forum, as we would NOT have been divorced as quickly as this, had we not swallowed our pride & heeded his advice re key aspects of our case. These are as follows for future reference for others:

A) David was quite right when he says that it matters not a jot what is listed AS the 'Unreasonable Behaviour' in the Petition-my Husband wasn't particuarly enamoured about some of the things I said about him, but agreed it was the best way forward to speed up the process if he agreed to the reasons & did not try to defend the Petition, as the only people who see this information are myself, him, my Solicitor & the Court, it is NOT at any time made public knowledge & if you want a quick divorce, just accept whatever it says (irrespective of whether it's true or you 'don't like it'!), sign it & get on with it-bitching about the 'reasons' will only hold up the process & is, at the end of the day, unproductive & totally futile-i.e the 'Fool's errand'' that David so often talks about! If you want the divorce & the marriage is over, what's the point of dragging it out...none whatsoever!!

cool smiley He also quite correctly states that it is the Petitioner (in this case myself) who dictates the pace of a Divorce..I have been firm & direct right from the start with my Solicitor, about what we had both agreed, & that we wanted proceedings to move at a rapid pace which, to her credit, she has heeded & has not 'dragged her heels' at any point as she could see that I was a very determined, strong Woman, intent on pushing this through as soon as was humanly possible to get out of this joke of a marriage which should never have taken place!!

It can be done is all I am trying to say here, (granted it was a lot easier for us as there are no dependent children involved), but if you are certain your marriage is over & want out asap, get on with it & get it over & done with-don't squabble pettily about 'who says what about whom' or try for unrealistic financial settlements as you have to balance that out too...are you really going to be any better off, holding out for a few extra quid when the Legal Bill is escalating astronomically week by week, month by month, possibly even negating any little extra you might (possibly?) be awarded at the end of the day?

Just food for thought &, hopefully to knock some common sense into those of you intent on fighting a losing battle!

Thank you David, this Forum has been a godsend during an emotional & very difficult time.

Good luck to the rest of you out there still suffering & slugging it out!!]]> BjornAgain UK Divorce Forum Wed, 08 Sep 2010 18:31:54 +0100 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2320,2320#msg-2320 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2320,2320#msg-2320 I have so far paid almost £2000 to a solicitor he has not responded to any communication from them!
I need desperately to get back into my home I am currently private renting near to my childrens school but is crippling me, I work part time.
I have also just discovered he has moved "lodgers" into my childrens rooms and that a wall has been knocked down to make more space.
What should be happening? surlely if he has ignored solicitors letters something should be done.
Can anyone advise me on how to proceed?]]> mich71 UK Divorce Forum Tue, 07 Sep 2010 11:06:03 +0100 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2313,2313#msg-2313 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2313,2313#msg-2313 aprilia UK Divorce Forum Thu, 09 Sep 2010 13:21:57 +0100 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2304,2304#msg-2304 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2304,2304#msg-2304
Additionally, he's working through a Trust - he pays PAYE on only £5,500 and the rest is paid to him gross - he draws down on it when he wants, all tax free - it is a legal tax loophole. Yes, I understand about him being a contractor, but as the DJ in the FDR pointed out, he nor any other judge cannot make an order that varies the amount of maintenance -they can only set a global quantum amount. The DJ also said, that this figure is predicated on the previous years income, as it is for everyone and that my ex, could for example, put £ aside for the times he is out of work. This is the advice from a judge as well as the solicitor I used to have. I'm worried that a judge will be fed up with 2 parties self-representing and will just make an order to dispose of the case quickly.

I have read Roger Bird's Ancillary Relief Handbook and am struggling to find appropriate case law that would fit with my situation - particularly on pensions - where pension sharing or offsetting hasn't been granted. My ex does not have a pension, but has the ability to make large contributions to a scheme, but has chosen not to do it. I know that the law was set up to protect women who've given up a career to look after kids, and my ex now appears to try and use it to claim half my pension. He says he needs to put money into a pension, but to date, has not started one even though he has the financial resources to do so for the last 3.5 year. I need relevant case law - any that I've looked at have been to do with big money cases - not relevant in my case. I also know that S25 of MCA 1973 talks about fairness and equality - if he takes half - I won't be in position to make this loss up. Any help anywhere???? I'd really be grateful.

Sorry to go on at length, but the trouble with cases when they get to this point, is complexity. Thanks for looking anyway.]]> brightangel UK Divorce Forum Tue, 07 Sep 2010 17:36:40 +0100 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2301,2301#msg-2301 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2301,2301#msg-2301
It wasnt until he had been back 3 days he admitted having an affair and he no longer wanted to be in the current marriage and didnt even want to talk about why we went wrong.

I felt there was no option come May of this year to file for divorce and did the online dosumnets and filled them in with the fact he had comitted adultery to which he had admitted to, he was served and didnt defend, but admitted to the adultery,

3 weeks later the district judge states a simple bald allegation of adultery and simple admission was not sufficent grounds for the decree nisi.

So I was sneaky and got hold of pictures of her from his online network account with both of them together :X all the e-tickets he used to go and see her 3 in total and one where he paid for her to come over and passport stamps plus other bits with a letter of admission from him that these were in fact genuine items and again he admitted it was still continuing this is now 6 weeks ago roughly, may have been less. I also included a letter stating I wished to submit further evidence of his adultry

Is the above likely to see a decree nisi being granted and does it normally take this long when the evidence is insuficient the first time round as the reply from the first was about 3 weeks if that?

thanks for your input]]> Fedup1964 UK Divorce Forum Tue, 07 Sep 2010 09:22:35 +0100 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2299,2299#msg-2299 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2299,2299#msg-2299
I have ring fenced the money I received from the policies for this purpose ,as I have been made redundant and otherwise would not be able to afford the fees .

Would the judge consider this action incorrect until the finances have been sorted out . The amount I will be paying will be over 16k but will mean I will be getting a discount and no guarenteed increases

Form E's have not yet been exchanged and the divorce has been going on since last December. The first finance hearing is in November]]> hankham666 UK Divorce Forum Mon, 06 Sep 2010 22:52:30 +0100 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2298,2298#msg-2298 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2298,2298#msg-2298
Husband had an affair & left me after 19 years of marriage. Now lives in Paris with her & a baby, in her (rented) apartment. He earns about £2327 per month (probably) more, & his partner probably earns more than him. I take home £1570.00 per month + child benefit + tax credit (for one child).

2 children of the marriage - 1 age 16, just started 6th form. 1 age 18, just about to leave home to go to university (but will return in holidays). I will be main carer as boys will not be likely to stay with their father in Paris except for the odd night.

House worth £240,000.00 approx, is on the market. Mortgage of £93268.36, second secured charge of £44,965.00. Husband's pension CETV = £151,461.00, mine £97378.74. Both final salary schemes. Husband has endowment policy value in February was £12,176.00. No savings in joint names & I have no savings.

1 joint 'school fee loan', balance £12500.00, which I pay. Has about 9 more years to pay. Husband has one loan, balance is £7291.00, has about 4 more years to pay.

Several credit cards each, but total balances roughly equal - none in joint names.

Based on these figures - what might I be entitled to please ? (ie what share of 'equity' - I really need it all in order to buy a smaller house; I will be able to get a mortgage of £124,000.00 as long as I pay off all my credit cards, and this will be the maximum I can borrow. I would only be able to afford to pay 'interest only'. I need £200K to get a reasonable house locally which the 2 x boys could come home to. So basically I really need all the equity - but of course soon to be ex husband doesn't think this is fair).]]> MrsTiggywinkle UK Divorce Forum Thu, 09 Sep 2010 14:50:56 +0100 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2293,2293#msg-2293 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2293,2293#msg-2293
My situation is this:- I plan to start divorce proceedings under the grounds of Unreasonable Behaviour.
My husband behaviour has become intolerable to live with to the point where I have had to ask him to leave the family home. Over the last 3 months, I have asked him to leave on three seperate occassions but he is point blank refusing to leave stating 'you can't get me out'.
We are walking around on egg-shells in our home and frankly I don't want to return home from work most evenings. He's even started kicking our cat (even when she was pregnant) just for a reaction from me, and this is deeply upsetting to me and the children because he does it in front of them. The kids now spend most of their time protecting the cat until I get in from work. Yesterday and today, he is verbally assualting and threatening me in front of the kids...
Today, I told him that I will be making an application for a Divorce & his response was 'I won't make it easy for you'
WHAT IS MY POSITION?
Do I have to wait for the Absolute before a decision can be made about his residency in the home? He's name is on the mortgage so he refuses to leave & this is despite him not consistently contributing towards the mortgage or the financial upkeep for the kids.
The property is in both our names although I have always paid the mortage from my salary and through my account. Will he be able to force a sale? However, I would much rather that it was transferred to my name in order to secure a home for my kids who are settled in the area in school and near family & friends. because I can confidently predict that if his name remained on the house he would feel he has a right to access/live in it and he will not pay child support after he left and if he does the amount would be insignificant and periodic.
Can he hold up the DIVORCE petition by NOT RESPONDING? In my ideal world I want to be divorced by the end of the year (2010) will this be possible even if he disputes it or does not respond??
Would the courts agree to transferring the house to me in leiu of Child Support which I know he wouldn't pay anyway unless it was deducted from his 'sometimes' salary..
I'm trying to hold it together but I don't know how much longer I can do it for.]]> soconfused UK Divorce Forum Fri, 10 Sep 2010 07:41:54 +0100 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2289,2289#msg-2289 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2289,2289#msg-2289 197031er UK Divorce Forum Sun, 05 Sep 2010 18:24:19 +0100 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2283,2283#msg-2283 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2283,2283#msg-2283 Peg UK Divorce Forum Sat, 04 Sep 2010 18:58:55 +0100 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2268,2268#msg-2268 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2268,2268#msg-2268 maggie2 UK Divorce Forum Sat, 04 Sep 2010 08:51:56 +0100 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2267,2267#msg-2267 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2267,2267#msg-2267
I've been married for 23 years. My husband left me about 2 years ago. He had his own business in his name only. The business was in difficulty and he never told me. I found out that he took on credit cards in his name only and has about £50,000 of debts. His credit cards were used to pay for bills in the home and i'm not sure what else as I had no knowledge of what was happening.

Are these credit card debts soley his debts or i'm responsible for them as well?

Also there has been a court order on his assets and a charge has appeared on the land registry which is £2000. Will this debt come out of his share of the property only and not mine?

Do I have grounds for divorce on unreasonable behaviour? I want a divorce asap.


Thanks
Dawn]]> cryptolip UK Divorce Forum Thu, 09 Sep 2010 14:58:18 +0100 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2264,2264#msg-2264 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2264,2264#msg-2264 sweetboy UK Divorce Forum Fri, 03 Sep 2010 19:00:18 +0100 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2261,2261#msg-2261 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2261,2261#msg-2261
However he has gone through an emotionally difficult time over my leaving him and has stalled for all this time while my solicitor has tried to draft up a 'deed of separation' for the two years not answering letters and things were going nowhere so I asked again to see a mediator but his solicitor has now written to say my husband wants a 'round the table' meeting to settle finances before he consents to divorce and I have been asked to complete a form E - I'm really worried that his solicitor is convincing him of going for everything although I earn less than him because I'm the one who moved out and he's still living in the marital home.

The only confusion around this may be that we had an offset mortgage (current) account which automatically takes the interest (around 140) every month. I stopped paying my salary into the account when I left as I have to pay (550) rent, in the two years he has been there he hasn't paid any capital so my suggestion was base the settlement as at the end of the month I last paid into the account 2 years ago. Although it sounds complicated i'm sure it could be very straightforward.

So, is it really necessary form me to complete a Form E when I'm only after 50% of the house, or is it because he is looking for some kind of payment from me?
Is there another alternative to this form?
Has the Mediator and 'Separation agreement' been a waste of time and money?
Is a 'round the table' meeting normal?

Just feel like I'm going backwards!]]> subora UK Divorce Forum Fri, 03 Sep 2010 18:55:43 +0100 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2258,2258#msg-2258 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2258,2258#msg-2258
Firstly this is a life saver of a site!!!

My situation briefly, my husband and I separated 21 months ago. We agreed on a 2 year separation as this we thought would be best for us. My husband went to live with his parents and I remained in the family home with my children (now 6 and 5).

He initially payed the mortgage amount to me monthly, then after 26 yrs service was made redundant. He lowered the payments to 360 per month and has since found full time employment but will not pay anymore for the children.

My concerns are, I have now found a rental property and have put the family home on the market. He has asked me how 'I' intend on paying for both homes?? Surely he, who is on the mortgage should be paying something towards it.... I work 2 days a week and yes, do get some benefits but I feel he should be contributing to the children or the mortgage am I wrong??

Finally, can I apply for a divorce before the 2 years are here?

Thanking you once again...]]> Heartbeats UK Divorce Forum Thu, 02 Sep 2010 09:40:43 +0100 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2254,2254#msg-2254 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2254,2254#msg-2254
since getting married, my wife has tried to change our relationship, in a 'do it my way or not at all' kind of way. Shes gone from my loving soul mate to some kind of off the wall banshee. She never shouted at me once until we were married. She shouts and creates tension to get her own way. I remain calm and talk calmly, but this seems to infuriate her even more - me refusing to be drawn into an argument. Shes picking on loads of tiny things too. Ive suggested counselling, but she wont go as she does not want a stranger involved in her business.

Its come to the point where she is threatening me with divorce regularly to try to get her own way. Even down to saying I will have to support her and her children for the rest of my life even if she divorces me. She tells me my wages will mostly go to her as will my savings and stock ive built up over the years.

im past the point of wanting to negotiate and talk. Is she telling the truth? am i stuck? will i have to pay for them even though we have been married for such a short period.]]]> cheeseman UK Divorce Forum Wed, 01 Sep 2010 19:16:17 +0100 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2244,2244#msg-2244 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2244,2244#msg-2244
I was in a relationship for 17 years married for 11.

I have recently recieved my decree nisi, and I am thinking of filing for ancillary relief.

History.
Met ex to be 17 years ago, worked for him and helped him build his business up - for 5 years I recieved no wages or payment at all from him, despite working for him as we were a couple!
I lived with him in what was his home. This was sold and we bought a home and business together.
For the past 11 years I contributed to the home we owned and business we owned. I regularly paid anything between 500- 1000 per month into my husbands account to help out with the bills etc.
I filed for divorce on unreasonable behaviour. He was always out drinking, gambling, was always bullying me, controlling me, used emotional and physical abuse against me and forced himself on me.
I will admit I didnt know how to get out and was scared.

I plucked the courage to do this December last year.

I worked but was made redundant April this year, since then I have met a new partner and we now co-habit in an apartment we rent. At the moment Im still looking for work.

My ex has filled in a form E which I have recieved in the post, he has stated that he earns very little from his self employement. More noticeably there are discrepancies. I know that 18 month ago we remortgaged and drew down £18,000 in equity. It was paid into my husbands own personal account. From that money we spent around £4000 on home improvements, holiday. I know that in December when I left there was £14,000 remaining. This has not been disclosed on the form E.
It looks like it has been hidden. He is claiming legal aid and has suggested mediation. I have wrote to him advising that I dont want to attend mediation due to his controling, bullying behaviour.

For the past 5 months now he has driven past, sat outside and watched me and my new partner and even gone as far as to hire private detective to photo, video me and my new partner. He even contacted my new partners ex wife and gave her my address so she could also come sit outside and stalk me and my new partner.

I have listened to people for the past 5 month go on about me leaving for another man etc etc and him play his injured soldier, blue eyed boy routine.

I have a daughter, she is 11 she resides with her father as he has influenced her thoughts of me, she has even commented to people about me leaving her for another man. I dont and do not find it appropriate for the child to know the reasons for our divorce, however her father has took great pleasure in doing to her what he used to do to me.

I realise some people may ask why didnt you take her with you, my ex to be threatened to kill me if i took her with me. I enjoyed contact with her until i wanted to introduce her to my new partner and then all the verbal hatred started. I realise that I may have to wait some time until my daughter calms down and realises that all her father has told her is not true.

The home and business were on 2 seperate deed, both mortgaged in joint names. no joint debts. My ex claims tax credits and legal aid despite having bits of money placed here and there.
Will my ex have to buy me out or sell them both to enable my settlement - would the court take into consideration my co-habitation now and on anyones experience am I looking at a 40% settlement or greater.

Thank you]]> GS UK Divorce Forum Tue, 31 Aug 2010 15:56:38 +0100 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2240,2240#msg-2240 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2240,2240#msg-2240
Thank you for such an informative and user friendly website. It is reassuring to know that you seem to care very much for people's welfare in such a difficult time.

I married 6 1/2 years ago, and we were together for one year prior to that. My wife is from Germany and we have a two year old daughter, though we met in a third country and have never lived in Germany. We have lived as a couple in the UK for all of our marriage. The grounds for a divorce would simply be incompatibility, or however the law defines that.

The equity on our home is nearly all paid up, so there is a substantial amount of money invested (250K). However, of that I brought in about 135K prior to the marriage, plus 20K inheritance from my mother's estate, and I have paid nearly all the bills and mortgage payments since we have been married. My wife has worked, but her salary was low while we were a couple without children, and she has barely worked since our daughter was born. She has put in about 20k in equity into the house, and the rest of the gain has been on rising house prices.

I have a defined contribution pension into which I have been paying for ten years (ie three/four years prior to our marriage too). I have no other financial assets or savings, all of it having been put into paying off the mortgage.

I have been paying the maximum amount into my daughter's Child Trust Fund and intend to continue with that until she is either 18 or the government closes accounts.

I have two questions.

1. Regarding access to my daugher. I recognise that my wife is the primary carer, but I do not want to lose access to my daughter as she grows up. There is a good chance that my wife will want to take her to Germany if we divorce, though that is not certain as she has friends here in the UK.

2. The home. I recognise that my daughter needs a roof over her head, and that my wife needs to care for her at such a young age. However, I feel that, since I brought so much equity into the mortgage, I wonder what my situation will be if/when we divorce.

3. What about my pension and my wife's access to that.

Thank you so much for your advice, I am rather in desperate need of clarification of my position before I decide where to go from here.]]> Drell UK Divorce Forum Tue, 31 Aug 2010 12:49:45 +0100 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2235,2235#msg-2235 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2235,2235#msg-2235 Married more than 20 years. Both have agreed marriage has come to an end and want to divorce.

Six months have passed since we separated, can we still divorce on grounds of unreasonable behaviour or must we now wait for two years separation?

It’s likely to take a long while to get the house sold. Can we divorce before the financial settlement is made?

Is divorce separate from the financial settlement?

Many thanks.

Many thanks for a very informative website.]]> Dip UK Divorce Forum Tue, 31 Aug 2010 16:32:16 +0100 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2234,2234#msg-2234 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2234,2234#msg-2234 The new mortgage on their old house then became mine and her mortgage and we lived there for 3years

we then sold said property and bought a new home.

in december she told me she was not happy and wanted a divorce, in january i returned to find the locks changed and i was forced to rent elsewhere, in april i met someone and we now live together as a cohabiting couple.

my ex filed for divorce on unreasonable behaviour?? I didnt dispute but did dispute the costs - i had proof to show she lied on the petition.

The house is on the market - equity around 50,000 she has 2 children to 2 previous partners - 1 child lives with fatther number 1 full time, other child lives with my ex.

ive been offered 5k as a settlement, she alledges that the money we paid the deposit on our home is hers as the old marital home was hers (re previous marriage)

Need a pointer on where i stand, she has alledged i paid for nothing etc and that all her debt was because of this she has provided no evidence - i however have shown evidence that sale proceeds from house we re mortgaged together to buy ex out went into her account - she happily spent it, proved i gave her money.

shes now moved her new partner into my home, but swears blind that he lives in scotland, he is there everyday, every night etc.

does the fact of co habiting with someone affect what the court would rule, my partner is unemployed through redundancy and I am self employed and work is drying up fast.

any info appreciated. on anything including percentage of equity i could expect if i issue court proceedings!!]]> 1974 UK Divorce Forum Tue, 31 Aug 2010 15:51:57 +0100 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2230,2230#msg-2230 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2230,2230#msg-2230
I'm new to this and new to forums, so sorry if it's not done correctly!

Anyway, my wife and I have both filled in our form E, however, I'd like to discuss and sort out how to share everything up, she wants it to be done by the solicitor. Does it have to go to the solicitor or can we do it ourselves. There are no kids involved.

If we can sort it out ourselves, how do we get the solicitor to make it official?

Thanks for your help.

Pete]]> Pete123 UK Divorce Forum Mon, 30 Aug 2010 12:39:52 +0100 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2216,2216#msg-2216 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2216,2216#msg-2216
We decided at the beginning of this year to go for a divorce as there was no point just cohabiting really. We do get along fine and decided the divorce would be amicable. His original idea was that I would stay in the house with the kids where he will pay for mortgage and childcare and I will cover all the bills and food. He was going to live around the corner where he would be able to come in everyday to eat with the kids, put them to bed as usual and be as much a part of our lives.

Lately however he has had a change of heart and is now becoming a bit difficult, proposing to pay me off £20k so that he can stay in the house and this would be the kids main residence and I will get a place round the corner rather than him. He is saying he wants a 50/50 shared access to the kids which I dont mind, but I would like to be the main carer of the kids and run the home inwhich they are raised. I am prepared to be bought out the house if need be but I am not leaving without my kids. And I feel that the kids need one fixed place of residence esp during the week and school times for their stability.

My problem stands now that he is willing to take it through court but I cannot at the minute afford to rub two pennies together to pay a solicitor and I am not entitiled to legal aid. He is at an advantage as he is a much higher earner than I am. He is petitioning the divorce and I am responding although I have not received anything from his solicitor. I even thought of self representing but not sure its a good idea when it comes to my longterm future of me and the kids.

From the beginning I have dealt with the whole situation calmly and as I do still care for him, I would hate for him to pay for too much that will cripple him financially in any way. I have noticed however lately that he is picking holes in my parenting etc as I know he wants the kids.

What is my best course of action when I have no money to fight?]]> guardianangel UK Divorce Forum Mon, 06 Sep 2010 23:56:54 +0100 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2209,2209#msg-2209 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2209,2209#msg-2209 spencer UK Divorce Forum Thu, 26 Aug 2010 14:39:25 +0100 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2207,2207#msg-2207 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2207,2207#msg-2207
H has done the same and shows he is £400 over spent each month. I've put down things related to me ie food, mobile phone, car, hair, gym etc as about £500. His come to over £1000 which seems really inflated to me.

I have 2 kids at home, pay everything for them and am paying all mortgage and bills. He rents but has OW and will probably move in with her as she has a house, but he denies this (although admits he is storing some furniture at her house).He is already paying less child maintenance than the CSA stipulates and has a good job.

What could happen if he shows he is this much overdrawn this month. Will we have to fill out form E?]]> Esther UK Divorce Forum Thu, 26 Aug 2010 16:24:47 +0100 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2200,2200#msg-2200 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2200,2200#msg-2200 Mike the bike UK Divorce Forum Wed, 25 Aug 2010 16:54:36 +0100 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2191,2191#msg-2191 http://www.terry.co.uk/forum/read.php?2,2191,2191#msg-2191 I'm sorry to be posting here all my trials and upsets, but I don't know where else to turn.

I am on the verge of divorcing my husband. There are many issues that have contributed to the situation, but the main one is my husbands dislike of my 19 year old son. He has never bothered to forge any kind of relationship with him and has been in his life for 10 years. There is mutual dislike and lack of respect on both parts and the situation is now unbearable.

I was trying desperately to find somewhere else to live and had recently seen a house that I may be able to purchase, but am currently on the mortgage of the family home, so am stuck without consent from my husband to let me come off the mortgage. I can't bear to be here for much longer and tonight my husband decided to let me know that he is going to use any means he can to throw my son out of our home.

Desperate is a word that's not quite fitting for how I feel at present. I just don't know which direction to take. I keep reading that I shouldn't leave the family home as this will have a bad financial impact when assets are sorted at a later date. But I can't bear to stay here either, especially if my son ends up with nowhere to go. I will then have to leave anyway. My son is in full time education at the moment so not financially independent.

Can anybody help me...? In any way? :-(

Debbie]]> Debbie UK Divorce Forum Thu, 09 Sep 2010 22:52:37 +0100